Judge — October 15, 1921 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Yer see, we shares a flat together. Well, it ain’t rightly a flat, it’s a back room divided by a ccurtin. I ’ave the side with the winder in it, and the other day, without a word to me, she takes in a payin’ guest.”—The Tatler. FAIR EXCHANGE—An enterprising tradesman sent a doctor a box of cigars which had not been ordered, with a bill for six dollars. The ac- companying letter stated that “I have ventured to send these on my initiative, being convinced that you will appreciate their exquisite flavor.” In due course the doctor replied: “You have not asked me for a con- sultation, but I venture to send you three prescriptions, being convinced that you will derive therefrom as much benefit as I shall derive from your cigars. As my charge for a prescription is two dollars, this makes us even.”—Boston Globe. SociaAL DISTINCTIONS—Little El- nore—What does your papa do? Little Florence—He’s a_ horse doctor. “Then I guess I’d better not play with you; I’m afraid you don’t be- long to our set.” “T don’t see why. What does your papa do?” “He’s a veterinary surgeon.’’— Cincinnati Times-Star. LAWABIDING—‘“Jones was operated on for appendicitis yesterday, and after it was all over the surgeon dis- covered that he had left one of his scalpels inside Jones before he sewed him up.” . “That was tough. Did they have to open him up again?” “Oh, yes. Jones insisted upon it. He was afraid he might be arrested for carrying concealed weapons.”— New York Sun. 26 THE DIFFERENCE—There are thirty-five people to every square mile in the United States, but in Europe it’s that number to every square meal.—Manila Bulletin. Must BE SoME BANQUET—A coun- tryman who went to a large city to see the sights engaged a room at a hotel and before retiring asked the clerk about the hours for meals. “We have breakfast from 7 to 11, dinner from 12 to 3 and supper from 6 to 8,” explained the clerk. “Look here,” inquired the farmer in surprise, “what time am I goin’ to get to see the town?”—Houston Post. THE RIGHT PRESCRIPTION — The doctor who recommends pleasant thoughts while eating should edit the food prices.—Washington Post. THE MAIN THING—‘Can I show you some beautiful hand-painted china?” inquired the salesman. “No,” replied the busy woman. “The only desire I have just now is to decorate the plain family dinner dishes with something effective in the way of a chop and a boiled potato.”— Washington Star. Use For Putty — Bacon — They gave us something to eat in the Chinese restaurant to-day that looked for all the world like putty. Egbert—It probably was putty. Putty is often used to fill up “chinks,” you know.—Yonkers Statesman. —— ——_) “The thief took my watch, my purse, my pocket book, in short, everything!” “But I thought you carried a loaded revolver?” “I do—but he didn’t find that!” —Klods Hans (Copenhagen).