Judge — October 8, 1921 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SUBTLE COMPLIMENT—“Why did you put the sign over your desk, ‘This is my busy day’?” “It makes a good impression,” an- swered Senator Sorghum, “when an influential constituent calls.” “But it might give offense.” “Not at all. It adds to a visitor’s sense of importance when I give him a cigar and tell him I want a long chat with him.”—Washington Star. GOVERNMENTAL EFFICIENCY—‘‘Are you on this investigating commit- tee?” “T think so.” “What are we investigating?” “Dunno.” “Well, let’s play poker until the chairman comes. Maybe he’ll know.” —Louisville Courier-Journal. SKIN DEEP—He—I suppose when all women vote the party managers will have to put handsome men on their tickets for candidates. She—What makes you think wom- en will demand handsome men to vote for when you look at the kind the most of them marry ?—Baltimore American. FIFTY-FIFTY—A magazine writer says retired officeholders enjoy loaf- ing in Washington. The enjoyment isn’t limited to the retired ones.— Sioux City Journal. Is IT PossiBLE—“How is former Senator Droll getting along in pri- vate life?” “He seems fairly contented,” re- plied Cyrus K. Savage. “I fancy he derives a good deal of consolation from the expectation that his suc- cessor will prove to be even a bigger fool than he was in the office.”— Kansas City Star. “That is a fine bassoon player.” “So much the better. You can’t hear the singer.”—Lustige Blaet- ter (Berlin). “Professor, I sway between art and science.” “Then get married and forget both.”—Wiener Caricaturen (Vienna). THE CHART BEFORE THE Horse— “T suppose Senator Snortsworthy has had a great deal of experience in tell- ing disappointed constituents he couldn’t get them a government job.” “Oh, yes. But the senator sends most of them away in a more cheer- ful frame of mind than you'd ex- pect.” “How does he do that?” “He keeps a chart on his desk to show them they couldn’t live on a government salary, anyhow.”—Bir- mingham Age-Herald. MISREPRESENTATIVE — “Let’s not try to fool the American people,” says Senator Kellogg. The most revolutionary suggestion that has been made to the Senate for many a long year.—Cleveland Plain Dealer. Seems So--“He was going in to apply for a postmastership.” “Well?” “And the President’s dog bit him.” “He ought to get something better now.”—Louisville Currier-Journal. Sort 0’ TAXIDERMIST—The Wife— Isn’t that your eye-doctor? The Husband—I thought so till he sent me his bill. He’s a skin spe- cialist.—Science and Invention. DEPRESSING CONDITIONS — Doctor —yYour trouble is dyspepsia; you should laugh heartily before and after your meals. Patient —Impossible, doctor. I cook them myself and then I wash the dishes.—Boston Transcript. RuN DowN—“Doctor, I’m sure I’m getting all the exercise I need.” “There’s no indication of it.” “No wonder. You have only looked at my tongue. But you just ought to see the soles of my shoes.”—Bos- ton Globe. comicbooks.com