Judge — October 1, 1921 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

BE IT EveR So RUMBLE—Husband —The doctor has ordered me to ob- serve the greatest possible quiet. Helpmate—In that case, dear, don’t you think it would be an ideal time to get back into busine: Paris L'Illustration. A SHARP DIAGNosis—“Did the doctor know what you had?” “He seemed to have a pretty accu- rate idea. He asked for ten dollars and I had eleven.”—Boston Tran- script. THE GOLD CuRE—An unfortunate man, possessed of a comfortable com- petency, evidenced various eccen- tricities, and so his loving relati tenderly orted him to a famous neurolog The latter viewed the patient from different points of the compass, and in due course passed him on to a psychopathologist. This polysyllabic expert subjected him to an exhaustive analysis and presently shucked him off onto a psychiatrist. The latter had hardly more than be- gun his investigation when the pa- tient lost the most of his money. Thereat his kin turned him loose, declaring that they had no more time to waste on a darned old crank. And he fell into the hands of a shabby plug of an unknown general practi- tioner, who gave him a few doses of bitter stuff and cured him for a dol- lar and sixty cents.—Country Gentle- man. Over the Left nt Hi Bl —! Giving Him the Cold Shoulder. —(London Mail). When Beauty is Framed pf “I advise you not to go in for that newspaper beauty competition. The editor’s wife has won the first prize for the past three years.” — Lustige Blaetter (Berlin). MIXED METAPHORS—Vanderlip we were a nation of economic il- literates. We are also a nation of metaphor mixers. | heard a high officer of one of our largest corpor- ations tell the stockholders early this year at their annual meeting that, “we cannot look for much joy or sun shine from the seat of our govern- ment.” The president of a national organization of public utilities in a prepared speech to its convention re cently crit ed a certain proposed policy as flying straight in the teeth of the very fabric of our form of government.” The officiating clergyman at the funeral of a distinguished advertis- 23 ing man the other day, in the course of his eulogy, remarked that the de- ceased was not like another business man he knew, “who became so im- mersed that he got all tangled up and could not pull himself out.”—Boston News Bureau. He Gor THE IpDEA—"“I taught school among my own people in the Tennessee mountains for several years after | graduated from col- lege,” a Southern lecturer says, as reported by a subscriber. Funny things happened. Hearing a boy say ‘t ain’t gwine thar,’ | said to him, ‘That’s no way to talk. Listen: 1 em not going there; you are not go ing there; he is not going there; she is not going there; we are not going there; they are not going there. Do you get the idea?’ ‘Yes- sur, I gits it all right. They ain’t nobody gwine.’ ’—Outlook. comicbooks.com