Judge — September 24, 1921 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TIMES ARE CHANGED—Standing in the aisle cf a crowded street car two colored youths engaged in conversa- tion. “Eph Lightfoot ain’t wearin’ ary silk shirts no more.” “Ah’ll say he ain’t. “An’ he is shinin’ his own shoes, too.” “Ah’ll say he is.” “An’ he ain’t runnin’ no flivver no more.” “Ah’ll say he ain’t.” “An’ you ’member dat twenty dol- lar gold piece he used to wear on his watch chain?” “Ah’ll say I do.” “Well, he’s done changed it foah a Lincoln penny.” —Youngstown Tele- gram. IDENTIFIED—Mose Potts was an old colored ditch digger on the farm of a well-known Virginia planter. One morning, after having been at work only a few hours, he was seen ap- proaching the farmhouse with a pe- culiar limp and an unusual pidity. “What’s the matter, Mose?” asked his employer. “It’s dis way, boss,” he groaned. “Ah see de biggest turtle Ah ever did see wigglin’ his haid in de mud. and Ah took de spade and cracked him on he haid, and, boss, Ah done cut off mah big toe.”—American Legion Weekly. A STRIKING EXAMPLE—“Thunder, said Brother Williams, “makes you think he’s gwine ter shake de worl’ away, but it don’t mean anything. It takes lightnin’ ter do business right.” —Atlanta Constitution. COLORING THE EVIDENCE—A col- ored brother makes this explanation of an alibi: “A alibi is provin’ you was at prayer meetin’ where you wasn’t in order to show dat you wasn’t at the crap game whar you wuz.”—Arkansas Thomas Cat. RELIEF IN SIGHT—“Tobe, I’m sorry to hear your wife has left you and gotten a divorce.” “Yessum, she done gone back to Alabama.” “Who will do my washing now?” “Well, mum, I’se co’ting again and I co’tes rapid.”—Louisville Courier- Journal. FURNISHED ROOMATISM — “Dey says,” observed Brother Williams, “dat de new brand dey calls ‘hooch’ Fashion's Dictates are Pitiless “It’s ALL OVER WITH SHORT DRES eS, MY DEAR! ‘THEY WILL SOON HAVE TO REACH AS LOW AS THE KNEES.” Die Musketo (Vienna) gives you de rheumatism; but, thank de Lord, I had it befo’ ‘hooch’ hit me!"—Atlanta Constitution. ‘The Complexity of Life Joskins—HELLO, PERKINS! HEAR YOU ARE MARRIED AGAIN; WHO DID YOU MARRY THIS TIME? Perkins—OH, MISS-ER-ER—I BELIEVE I'VE GOT HER CARD IN MY POCKET SOMEWHERE. London Mail. 23 ON Pale FARM is THE PROPER WaY—To those who contribute to the support of humane work and the animals’ welfare only under pressure or when cornered by some humanitarian, financial strate- gist, the attitude of Farmer Apple- gate’s cow applies. “How much milk does that cow give ked the summer boarder. “Wal,” replied Farmer Applegate, “ef you mean by voluntary contri- booshun, she don’t give none. But ef ye kin get her cornered so she can’t kick none to hurt, an able- bodied man kin take away about ‘leven quarts a day from her.”— Pittsburg Pr NATURE'S HARMONIES—“Oh, what heavenly music,” exclaimed the fair summer boarder. “I didn’t know you had jazz bands out here in the coun- We ain’t got no kind of a band,” replied the farmer. “That noise you hear is pigs calling for their sup- per.”—New York Sun. comicbooks.com