Judge — September 24, 1921 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE TASK—Those reform preach- ers who designed the moral gown for women did a good job. Now to de- sign a woman who will wear it.— Houston Chronicle. A Sap CasE—North—Webster was injured in government service. West—Wounded in the war? He worked in the rehabilita- tion department and fell out of his desk chair while asleep.” —New Yori: Sun. SAFE!—That Frenchman who says Americans can’t appreciate tragedy should watch the grand stand when an outfielder drops an easy one.— Cleveland News. ONE ON FATHER—"Tom, go fetch the old horse.” “Why the old one, father?” “Wear out the old ones first, that’s my motto.” “Well, then, father, ycu fetch the herse.”—Boston Transcript. Cut-leery HERE BI YOU GET (Chris- tiania). IMPROVEMENTS—"That rich feller has certainly fixed up his farm in great shape.” “Yep. Got it now so that it has all the discomforts of a city place.”— Detroit Free Press. Not Only Love is Rlind “YOUR BINOCULARS ARE SPL! “Yes. WERE INVALU. ABOUT ME!” DID! THEY ENABLED ME TO SEE Megyendorfer Blatter (Munich). Dip YoU HAVE THEM IN THE ARMY WITH You?” E ALL THAT WAS TAKING PLACE LipeL Proor—Certainly Mr. called on Miss Sunday evening and Mr. —— hitched his horse at Mr. ~s gate, but what of it? It happens every Sunday and some- times during the week. Now when Mr. and Miss are converted from Joys to Glooms we will write it up in these items and extend con- dolences.—Searcy (Ark.) Citizen. IT PAYs TO ADVERTISE—To find out how closely and painstakingly his pa- per is read, an editor has to commit an occasional error. A paper might boost for 999 years and never hear a word of commendation, but when a ight error is made, a howl is at once raised. The people who say they do not read the papers are just plain liars.—Jackson (Ga.) Progress. Bup’s Busy SEASON—Bud Wade has been repairing his dwelling house and fence, and has strung up his gui- tar, repaired a hatchet, a chopping ax, built a field gate and some fish- hook sinkers had to be made and some razors strapped and an edge put on them.—The Benton Courier. ONE Goon REASON—We have sev- cral reasons for not accepting th? job of State Printer. We do not feel qualified to take on a position involv- ing so much responsibility, and do not feel that we could do the job justice. This, and the other trifling reason that we couldn’t get the job anyway, leads us to refuse.—Barber County (Mo.) Index. LYING IN STATE.— The editor poised his pencil. “You say here that Mr. Longbow is lying at death’s door. We’ll just make that ‘laying.’” “But that’s not good English,” pro- tested the reporter. “No,” replied the editor, “but it’s better to make a grammatical error than to offend Longbow’s relatives. His reputation for veracity is notori- ously bad.”—Boston Transcript. ABLE TO TAKE PUNISHMENT—“I want to see ‘Aunt Elizabeth,’ who writes advice to the lovelorn.” “The fat man at the corner desk, with a pipe in his mouth, is ‘Aunt Elizabeth.’ ” “Good heavens! soul to that man.” “Don’t be alarmed, miss. He’s a glutton for soul stuff.”—Birming- ham Age-Herald. I poured out my