Judge — September 24, 1921 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

There Is Always a War Somewhere Old Girl—Wuw Soldier—Ir sust MATRIMONY SO Instructor—But can’t fight your wife. “| know it. I’m not even going to try. What I want is to be able to stand punishment.”—American Le- yion Weekly. you Be Ir EveR SO GRUMBLE—“Your husband must enjoy his home.” “He does. Especially when | want him to take me_ out.”—Sydney Bulletin. GAMBLING EITHER WayY—Marry- ing, before the days of the one-piece bathing suit, v somewhat like trad- ing barlows “sight unseen,” —Louis- ville Courier-Journal. DIFFERENT NOW—Mrs. A—Mar- riage certainly changes a man. Mrs. B—Doesn't it? Take my hus- band—he used to offer me a penny for my thoughts, and now he offers me $50 to shut up.—Boston T'ran- seript. FRIENDLY ADVICE — “Would marry a dyspeptic “Are you going to do the cooking?” “L suppose so.” “Don’t marry Courier-Journal. you him.”—Louisville “IT want to said the lady, WHY RENO THRIV! advertise for a man, LD Bob ra = QI THE IDEA OF FIRING THAT GUN AT A WEDDING? JOWS THAT HOSTILITIES HAVE COMMENCED! Kasper (Stockholm). approaching the want advertisement counter in the daily newspaper office. “[ want to get a man to carry coal in the winter, keep up the fires, snow, mow the lawn in summer, als yprinkle it, tend the flowers, mind the children, wash dishes, sweep the front porch, run errands, and all that kind of work—in short, | want a man who will always be around the place and can be called upon for any kind of hard work. He must be sober and reliable, of good appearance, not over thirty—” “Pardon, madam,” said the clerk, “we cannot accept matrimonial ad- vertisements.” Pearson's Weekly (London). Nature’s Debt and Man's Every GERMAN CHILD BORN INTO THE WES 40,000 KS. WHEN DID THIS ter (Berlin). ‘THE OUNCE OF PREVENTION— Antoinette—Mrs. Black ’as called te see you, madam. Mrs. White—Oh! Run to the dri store now and get me some aspirin, Antoinette. “Your poor 'ead, does it ache then, madam?” No! But it will when she has —London Mail. FAMILIARITY BREEDS CONTEM “Ah, well, it won't be long befor- people quit gawking at the girlies’ limbs. Everybody looked at autos and airplanes, too, when they first came out.”"—Seattle Post — Intel- ligencer, CALVES—F'lubb— with her PRODIGAL Ss causing a riot extra short skir Dubb—Her skirt isn’t extra short. Her legs are extra long.—New Yor: Sun THE Must Ir ALL END IN SMOKE?— “When a girl tells a man she likes to see him smoke a pipe he might as well start looking at houses for rent.”— Flint (Mich.) Journal. CoLpD SToRAGE—“It is a solid fact that a man should never apologize to a woman. Apologies, instead of softening women, harden them in their self-righteous conceit. An old women lay dying. Her husband, kneeling at the bedside, said brokenly : ‘My love, all the harsh and unkind words I have ever used to you | now tuke back.” At this the old woman’s brow darkened and in her weak voice she said: ‘No, you don’t. T know you. You want to use them all over again in case | get well.’ ’—Boston Globe. THE HALTER AT THE ALY AR—“It is no easy task picking a beauty chorus.” “The tough job is the job the bride has in picking a bunch of maids who are not too homely and yet won't outshine her.”—Louisville Courier- Journal. BELOW PA — Willie —Pa, what's a padded cell? Pa (after looking cautiously about)—Your mother and sister are hoth padded sells, Willie—-San Fran- cisco Chronicle, comicbooks.com