Judge — September 24, 1921 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Digest THE REMARKABLE HUSBAND — “That blowout made a terrific explo- sion.” “Yes,” replied Mrs. Chuggins: “but it didn’t last long enough. Tires should be made so that when they burst the noise will last long enough to drown my husband’s remarks.” Washington Star. Too FULL FOR UTTERANCE——“*When Parson Goodleigh tried to start his flivver he choked the engine off three times in succession.” “Ha! Did he make any remarks appropriate to the occasion?” “No, he didn’t, but he didn’t have exactly the same kind of expression on his face he wears when he sa} ‘Let us pray.’"’—Birmingham Age- Herald. Stop Your KNOCKING! — Some people when they hear the knock of opportunity send for a mechanic to take it out of their car.—Los Angeles Times. CL IFIED— Automobiles are to ve made of cotton and run by coal dust. They will be in the same class as cowless milk and sawdust food.— Cincinnati Enquirer. THE RETORT CouRTEOUS—Motorist —Is there any ordinance limiting the speed of autos in this town? Native—Gawsh, no! You fellers can’t git through Squashville any too quick fer us.—Boston Transcript. KEEPING Up WITH THE CHAUFFEUR —‘You ought to have a chauffeur. Can't you afford one “T might afford the chauffeur,” re- plied Mr. Chuggins. “But I couldn't afford the kind of a car he’d want to take his friends out riding in.”— Washington Star. of the World’s get a great deal of pleasure out of your car?” “No, I can’t say that I do.” “What’s the trouble?” “The car’s all right, but Monday is mother’s day to drive it; on Tues- day, the girls want it; Wednesday, 1 promised to let the boy have it, and Friday and Saturday it has to go in for repairs. Sunday, if I am very good they let me drive myself.” ~Detroit Free Press. THE HEAD OF THE Housk—Blvbb I'm convinced that a woman can drive a car as carefully as a man can. Dubb—So the wife made you buy one at last, eh?—New York Sum. T—A_ wrecked ‘arries more white Los Angeles CausE AND FE sutomobile often mule than gasoline. Times. . THE CAREFUL DRIVER—‘‘A motor- ist should always be polite.” “Alway agreed Mr. Chuggins. “You never know when you may be talking to a speed cop in plain clothes.”"—Washington Star. Charity Begins at Home tL “CAN YOU SPARE A COIN FOR AN UN- EMPLOYED MITH ?”—Karikaturen (Christiani 21 Humor THE LAST STRAW—How can one tell when he has money enough? Is there any simple test that may be applied, any chemical combination of events or incidents that will give the reaction of “enough” in the matter of wealth? There If a man refuses to chase his new straw hat down the street in a high wind. then he is rich Minneapolis Journal. enough, Us. Too The government 000,000,000 for next year. But the difference is that will get it.—-Los FRoM So do we. the government Angeles Times. He Hap His Dousts—An elderly persuaded by one of his sons to go with him to a boxing exhibition. The son paid for two $2 seats. “Now. dad,” said the son joyfully. “you'll see more excitement for your $2 than vou've ever seen in your life before.” The old man grunted. “T've got my doubts about that.” he said gloomily. “Two dollars was all T paid for my marriage license.” London Weekly Telegraph. Prorit To BotH—“Dad,” said the financier’s son, running into his father’s office, “lend me $600.” “What for, my boy?” “T’ve got a sure tip on the market.” “How much shall we make out of it?” asked the old man, cautiously. “A couple of hundred, sure,” re- plied the boy eagerly. “That's a hundred each.” “Her your hundred,” said the father. “Let's consider that we have made this deal and that it has suc- ceeded. You make a hundred dollars and T save five hundred.”—Kansas City Star. comicbooks.com