Judge — September 17, 1921 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

MODERN = SURGERY—Sludent (to surgeon)—What did you operate oa the man for Surgeon— dollars. oY es, but I mean what did the man have? “Two hundred and fifty dollars.”— Boston Globe. wo hundred and fifty Wy He Went—Crawford—1 thought you didn't like to go to funerals. Crabshaw—But this is the funeral of an old doctor of mine who told me years ago that I couldn't live-—New York Sun. Divination and The High Cost of Coal HorriBiLtE Dictu—‘Did you ever make a serious mistake in a prescrip- tion?” asked the customer. “Only once,” replied the drug store clerk. “I gave a fellow a quart when his prescription only called for a half pint.” —Pick-up. THE OLD Way Brst-—-A physician udvises parents never to spank a child on an empty stomach. Our sugges- tion would be to turn him over.— Pueblo Star-Journal. RHYME OF A GRATEFUL PATIENT— There was a germ anthropophagous, Whose tastes were distinctly opto- phagous, Till Doe turned him green With zine fluorescein And he hunted his little sarcophagus. —~Journal of the American Medical -lssociation. AN AMATEUR COAL DIVINER NOSING OUT A LUMP OF ANTHRACITE ON HIS COUNTRY ESTATE, London Bystander. Figures Don’t Lie 0, GIRLS, CORSETS. 1 DY THE FIGURE Look AT ME L NEVER WORE A CORSET IN MY Lae Kasper (Stockholm). noe ) Witwer Ww RENT FREE—An_ actor-manager was being shown around a lunatic asylum. Seated under a tree in the garden was a man who was counting his fingers again and again, mutter- ing: “Eeney, meeny, miney, moe.” “Who's this?” asked the actor. “A strange case, sir,” replied the attendant. “We found him in the street. He's harmless but hopelessly insane.” The actor looked at the lunatic closely, while the attendant moved away. “Bless my soul!” he exclaimed presently. “He resembles a former member of my company. Tell me, eren’t you Bawl, the actor?” “Cheese it.” whispered the lunatic. “If they don’t find me out I can stay here all the summer rent free.” -Argonaut. Lapor’s Wor—*“This unemploy- ment situation is fierce, isn’t it, Bing- hams?” “Yeah, punk! It makes me feel rot- ten to think all these men are loafing and T got a job and have t’ work.” - Richmond Times-Dispatch. LITTLE CHANGE—“I’m sorry to see you here,” said the friend of a con- victed bank embezzler. “Oh, there isn’t much change, after all,” d the prisoner, cheerfully. “No2” “You see, I had been shut up in a cage and looking through bars for years before I came here. These bars are just a little thicker, and in- stead of being brass they are steel.” Philadelphia Star. comicbooks.com