Judge — September 10, 1921 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Now It’s THE OTHER WAY—“Ah, for them happy days,” sighed the Kicker. “As to which, then?” inquired the Optimist. “Them happy days when a fellah used to save the change out of a nickel until he got a dollar.”—Rich- mond Times-Dispatch. Economist — “Did asked THEORETICAL you ever save any Meandering Mike. “Often,” replied Plodding Pete. “Every time I stole a ride on a freight train I saved a whole lot of fare.”—Washington Star. INFLATION — Premier Wirth, of Germany, announces a plan to collect 80,000,000,000 of paper marks a year. Must have bought an extra printing- press.—St. Louis Star. PRESUMPTION—Bob—I hear that Lulu promised’ you last night that she’d be a sister to you. Sam (gloomily )—Yes, she did. “Well, now, old man, that makes you a brother of mine. Loan me 10 bucks on account of the kinship.” —Bosten Globe. KEEPS THE BEST ONE~—The man who never lends money never has many friends. Also, he does>’t need them.—Kansas City Star. QuERY—The United States Treas- ury now holds about 10,000 tons of gold. Very well, but what has the Treasury in its coal bin?—Minne- apolis Journal. A Hint for Late Swimmers For THE CONVENIENCE OF BATHERS—A NEAT APPLIANCE FOR POURING OIL ON TROUBLED The Bystander (London). WATERS. 24 Asking Too Much of Him “WHAT? YOU WANT ME TO SWEEP THE STREETS AND GET DUST IN MY THROAT? HAVE YOU NO IDEA OF THE PRINCIPLES OF HY GIENE?”--Fliegende Blaetter (Munich). THE HUMAN INSTINCT —“You’re on a diet, I understand. Then why the haste to get into the dining- rcom?” “I just want to show these people here that I’m just as much entitled to a seat at the first table as they are.” —Louisville Courier-Journal. AFTER THE MOovirs—The practice of carrying a hungry man’s dinner home from the delicatessen shop has broken up more homes than wine, women and song.—Philadelphia Pub- lic Ledger. ONE THING NEEDED—No matter what the packers say, beef never will be “down” until the butcher throws in a soupbone.—Portland Oregonian. STILL HERE—“Sandwiches,” under the name “offula,” were known to the ancient Romans, according to the man who knows everything. And the man who knows merely a thing or two answers that some of the offula are evidently still in circula- tion.—Chicago Daily News. EVEN POWDER AND SHOT CosT LEsSs—“The good old Pilgrim fathers lived under hard conditions.” “In some respects. But think of how much cheaper they could get their turkeys.”—Washington Star. THE MATERIALIST—“What would you suggest for our literary club to read?” asked Mrs. Flubdub. “A good cook-book,” responded her brutal husband—Kansas City Journal. comicbooks.com