Judge — September 10, 1921 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

IT— THAT May ACCOUNT For “Now they say the Borgias never really served their guests poison.” “Then why their reputation?” “Oh, they may have had some bad luck with bootleg liquor.” —Louisville Courier-Journal. THE Hootcu Dip ItT—The Rogers Democrat tells of a citizen who had imbibed too freely and left his team in the road to look for “more.” He finally stumbled back, only to find that someone had unhitched the horses and driven them away. “Ezra Perkins,” he said to himself sadly, passing a hand over his brow, “if you’re Ezra Perkins, you've lost a pair of durn good horses. But,” brightening, “if you ain’t Ezra Perkins, you’ve found a durn good wagon.”—Atlanta Constitution. Supe Recipe—‘Yes, I make a very fair cocktail, people say.” “What do you put in it?” “Whatever I can get.”—Louisville Courier-Journal. REFRESHMENTS PROVIDED — ‘How was the barbecue?” “Very enjoyable, I believe.” “Yes.” “The master of ceremonies pointed mysteriously to a nearby thicket and forty men were injured in the rush.” —Birmingham Age-Herald. No Offense Given or Received “TELL ME, “No. Iv WILL BE A MIRACLE. No REsTRAINT—“The new cook says she wants to be treated as one of the family.” “Good. Then we can tell her what we think of her.”—Louisville Courier- Journal. TIME—Mrs. B (hearing a clash and jangle from the kitchen) —Good- ness! What was that noise? Mrs. D—O, that’s Mary. Promptly at 8 she stops work and then she drops everything.—Boston Globe. They Take Few Risks In Scotland insurance Agent YOUR: BURIAL EXPENSE! Wily Scot—Na, N. -BUT YOU SURELY AGREE TO TAKING OUT AN INSURANCE POLICY TO COVER MON; I MICHT BE LosT aT SEA!—The Passing Show. 23 FARMER, WILL IT BE AN OFF! Klods Hans (Copenhagen). E IF I CATCH FISH IN THIS POOL?” A BLESSING IN DISGUISE— Mr. Headley rubbed his hands gleefully. “Mr. Heape!” he called. Mr. Heape, his assistant, came in from the next room. “Heape,” cried old Headley, “that fool of an office boy of ours has fallen in love with my pretty secretary.” “I'm sorry, sir; what shall I do? Fire the boy?” “Fire the boy!” yelled Headley, “Never! I hope he remains true to her. For the fi time since he’s been here he’s always handy when we want him.” — Pittsburgh Chronicle Telegraph. HE HAD THE MANNER—“You dis- charged your office boy?” “Yes,” said Dr. Dubwaite. “He never did anything but stand around and look wise.” “I guess you’ve seen the last of him.” “I don’t know about that. He may turn up here some day as an efficiency expert.”—Birmingham Age-Herald. THE Cook—“Can you refer me to anyone for whom you have worked before?” “Well, mum, I cooked for you a couple of days last winter.”—Lowis- ville Courier-Journal. EMBARRASSING THE Boss—‘Have you any employees who really take an interest in your business?” “One,” said Mr. Dubwaite. “He’s in a responsible position, I presume?” “No, he’s my office boy. That youngster is so smart and industri- cus I feel like apologizing to him every time he catches me with my feet propped up on my desk and nothing on my mind but a game cf. golf.”—-Birmingham Age-Herald. comicbooks.com