Judge — September 10, 1921 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Not That Kind of a Bird Countrywoman- Porter. Countrywoman—Not ME! CONSIDERATE — The Judge — Five years’ imprisonment. The Prisoner (to friend in the gal- lery)—Go in an’ tell the missis I shan’t be ’ome to supper, Bill.— Pearson's Weekly (London). EXCEEDING His AUTHORITY —A clothing manufacturer in New York City had the happy faculty of letting his employees know at all times that he was “b , One day one of his employees re- marked: “It looks as though we're going to have rain to-day!” To which the employer replied: “We're going to have rain? Since when are you a member of the firm?” —Forbes Magazine. INSIDIOUS REVENGE— ‘What did you do with that man you caught dealing from the bottom of the deck?” “We paid his transportation to Gravel Forks. That crowd over there is so crooked that they need comin’ up with.”—Washington Star. READY WITH ADVICE—‘“What sort of fellow is Gadspur to take on a camping trip?” “He seems to know more about the way to fry bacon, scramble eggs and make coffee and does less of it than any other man I ever knew.”—Bir- mingham Age-Herald. WHERE CAN I GET A TICKET TO CHICHESTER? THROUGH THAT PIGEON HOLE. ; I AIN'T NO PIGEON!—London Mail. Just A LITTLE—“I want a shave,” said the determined looking man, as he climbed into the barber's chair. “I don’t want a hair-cut nor a shampoo. Neither do I want any bay rum, witch hazel, hair tonic, hot towels or face massage. I don’t want the manicure lady to hold my hand, nor the bootblack to fondle my feet. I just want a plain shave with no trimmings. Do you’ understand that?” “Yes sir,” said the barber. “Will you have some lather on your face, sir?”—New York Sun. Coutp A HAT BE THAT OLD—They met in a department store. “Why, how do you do?” asked Mrs. Styles. “Very well; and you?” said Mrs. Myles. “Fine. I haven’t seen you ina long time.” “No, it must be six or seven years.” “All of that. Really, I wouldn't have known you if it wasn’t for your hat.” Of course, it will be understood why they don’t speak now.—Yonkers Statesman. TIMES WILL CHANGE—If in some strange and mystic way we could have been projected twenty-five years ago into a roomful of girls dressed as they do it now, we are convinced that we should have taken one hasty but com- prehensive glance around, concluded that by some unfortunate accident we had got into the wrong pew, as it were, and made a hasty and terrified exit.=Ohio State Journal. Uses OF CREDULITY—“‘Do you think we ought to be expected to believe what cannot be explained to us?” “Of course,” replied Miss Cavenne: “otherwise, of what possible use would a ouija board be?”—Washing- ton Star. The Pride of the Meticulous Housewife Mrs. K. (to her husband who was hit on the head by a bottle in his last quarrel)— | Look HERE, YOU SIMPLY MUST GO TO A DOCTOR AND GET THOSE PIECES OF GLASS TAKEN OUT OF YOUR HEAD, YOU ARE TEARING MY PILLOW-CASES TO PIECES.—Kasper (Stockholm). comicbooks.com