Judge — August 20, 1921 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

She Made Him What He Was and Is Darby—THAT HANDSOME WOMAN OVER THERE ONCE MADE A FOOL OF ME. Joan—I FELT THERE WAS SOMETHING IN YOUR LIFE THAT YOU NEVER GOT OVER! THE LIGHT DAWNED AT LasT.— Stuart Dean, pump manufacturer, is a member of the Indianapolis Coun- try Club. Recently Mr. Dean tele- phoned the club to arrange for a din- ner. One of the Filipino servants answered the call. “This is Mr. Dean—Stuart Dean,” the club man said to the servant. “IT do not understand good,” the servant said. “I am Mr. Dean—Stuart Dean.” “Oh, yes, yes, now I under- stand, y Be The Filipino hung up the re- ceiver, hurried to the kitchen and said to the chef: “One order stewed beans!”— Indianapolis News. THE Days THAT ARE GONE— “Are you willing to work for $30 a month and your board?” asked Mr. Cobbles. “Yes, sir,” replied the appli- cant for a job as a farm hand. “But if you occasionally see me pause in my task of manicuring the pigs to brush away a tear, think nothing of it. I was paid $10 a day during the war, and it wasn’t much of a day at that.” —Birmingham Age-Herald. MARVELS OF PLUMBING—‘“Why did you stand around and watch the plumber all morning instead of going to your office?” asked Mrs. Dubwaite. “I was fascinated,” replied Mr. Dubwaite. “I never reali- ized before that a human being could earn a comfortable living —London Mail. with one large, soft, manicured hand while holding a lighted cigarette in the other.”—Birmingham Age- Journal. JOLLYING HER—The Sire—Young man, I demand to know your inten- tions toward Nora, the cook. The Son—Oh, just kidding her a little, that’s all. “Allright. Flirt with her and keep her contented, but don’t you dare to y her and take her away from us.”—Boston Globe. The Reward of Honesty “I FOUND IT ON A BENCH IN THE PARK.” “WELL, ACCORDING TO THE LAW, IF WITHIN A YEAR AND A DAY NORODY CLAIMS IT, YOU CAN HAVE 1 Le Journal Amusant (aris). 24 SHE KNEw—He had been keeping her company eight years and had never even mentioned marriage and she had decided to give him a strong hint the first opportunity she had. It came during one of the late summer days. As they started for a walk into the country she caught up a bright red sweater to wear. He touched her arm. “I wouldn’t wear that if I were you, Grace,” he said. “The field in which the violets grow best has a Jersey bull in it and—” “Oh, then, I won’t wear it,” she said emphatically, throwing the red sweater on the rack. “If in eight years you haven’t got enough cour- age to rescue me from an approach- ing spinsterhood I know you wouldn’t have enough in a few minutes t ve me from an approaching bull.”—Jn- dianapolis News. RIGHT PAYMENT — Nine-year-old Charles carried letters from the lawyer next door to his best girl. Every time he took one the lawyer gave him adime. But one day he de- cided to reward him a little bet- ter. He started to fish two dimes out of his pocket. “I guess these letters are about worth 20 cents,” he remarked facetiously. “Yes, sir,” Charles agreed, soberly, “that’s what I get—a dime from you and one from her.” But he didn’t know what there was about his speech to make the fellow grin so happily.—Jn- dianapolis News. APPROPRIATE—I played ‘The Kiss Waltz’ for her.” “On the piano?” “Oh, no—on the mouth or- gan.”—Minneapolis Journal. HorsE OF ANOTHER COLOR— Daughter—Jack says he'll die if I refuse him. Father—Let him die, then. “Why, papa, don’t you know that he’s heavily insured in your company?”—Boston Tran- script. No Limit—Maud—When we are married I must have three servants. John—You shall have 23, dar- ling, but not all at the same time. —Bismarck Tribune. comicbooks.com