Judge — July 23, 1921 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

you you ow, ay, to YUM Cautious—The dealer had just received some live chickens in a crate when Mrs. Youngbride entered to buy the Sunday dinner. “Tf you like, madam,” he said, “T’ll kill and dress a couple of these chickens and send them over to your house.” “Well,” replied the young housekeeper, hesitating cautiously, “if you are positive they are fresh, you may.”—Boston Tran- script. Fare of the Pioneers—Writing to the editor of the Palimpsest, John P. Irish re- counts some of the hardships of Iowa pioneer life and tells the story of one of those pioneer women and her grand- daughter, who asked: “Grandma, you were here in the early day: a “Yes, I was a pioneer.” “Well, were you poor?” “Yes, we were all poor.” “Couldn’t you have what you wanted?” “No, I could not.” “Did you have no meat?” “No, nothing but venison, wild turkeys, prairie chickens and quails.” “Did you have no sugar?” “Nothing but maple sugar.” “What did you want that you couldn’t get?” “It was New Orleans molasses and salt mackerel.” —Charleston (W. Va.) Gazette. A Tasty Meal—“I want to see my father very particular,” said a boy to the gatekeeper at a cricket-match where his father was acting as umpire. He was passed through, and hurried up to his Congo Modesty K A DRESS FROM PARIS, AND YET an (COMING; AND YOU KNOW IT’S THE CUSTOM HERE TO WEAR THEM LONGER THAN THAT.” —Le Journal Amusant (Paris). Also Beach Nuts . “Drip Peacues.”—The Bystander (London.) father. “Mother says she wants that packet of sandwiches back,” he said. “Sandwiches back!” exclaimed the sur- prised parent. “I ate’em an hour ago.” “Then you'll have to clean your shoes with salmon and shrimp paste,” replied the young- ster. “Mother put the brown shoe polish in those sandwiches!” —London Tit-Bits. A Difficult Dish—‘“Is there anything else I can do for you, sir?” asked the solicitous waiter who was hovering around a cor- pulent old gentleman. “Yes,” said the corpulent old gentleman. “You can take your eyes off me for about 20 minutes. I never could stand to be watched when I’m eating spaghetti.”— Birmingham Age- Herald. High-Toned — Myles — Good boarding-house where you're stop- ping now? Styles—I should say so. It’s very high-toned. “Ever have hash?” “Never; only meat croquettes.” —VYonkers Statesman. 25 LA’ . The Blackstones—“ You have a very hard looking lot of prisoners to dispose of this morning, haven’t you?” remarked the fashionable social worker to the judge of the police court. “Oh, you are looking at the wrong lot,” remarked that worthy; “those are the lawyers.” —Town Topics. A Lawyer’s Way—“ Why is our lawyer always alluding to the lawyer on the other side as the learned counsel?” “That’s a legal slap at his education.” — Louisville Courier-Journal. Cured—“T’ll fine you $10 for contempt of court.” “All right, your honor. I’ll pay it, but it’s a lucky thing for me that you don’t know what I’m thinking.” “T’ll just add another $1o for that re- mark.” “Your honor, my mind is now a perfect blank.”—Birmingham Age- Herald. comicbooks.com