Judge — July 23, 1921 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Wife Does the Work, Now— know there have been wonderful time- saving devices invented in the past decade, Rufus.” “Yas, I knows dat, boss.” “A man doesn’t have to work as hard now as he did ten years ago, Sam.” “T knows dat, too, for yer see, I’s been married eight years, boss!’”-—Yonkers Statesman. Appropriate—It happened on the trans- port coming back. “Show me your identification tag,” demanded the medical officer of a colored private. “Ah done chucked it overbo’d, suh,” confessed the other. “Ah jus’ naturally ain’t got no ambition for no more of dem death checks.”—American Legion Weekly. Finished—A storekeeper on upper Broadway discovered a card in his show window advertising the fact that M Fiske was at Henry Miller’s Theatre play-_ He Knew the Rules Sentry—Wuo GoEs THERE? Lieutenant—I_ ua NSWERED “FRIEND” once. Don’t you KNOW THE RULES? Sentry—Yes. I Have To CALL “Wuo Goes THERE "THREE TIMES AND THEN shoot!—Klods Hans (Copenhagen). ing in “Wake Up Jonathan.” Calling his porter, a negro, he said: “George, that show has left town.” “Yas sah!” replied George. Later the merchant noticed the card was still in the window. “George,” he said, “that card is still there.” “Yas sah,” replied the porter, “but ah has done fixed it it won’t fool nobody.” The merchant took a look at the card. On it the negro had written: “All over now.” She Thought Him GériM@s but Eccentric 24 Then and Now—“Seems to me you ought to be out looking after your best girl on Sunday afternoon.” The visitor addressed the young man. The young man in question looked at his watch. “Plenty of time yet,” he answered “it’s only 2 o’clock now. I never go to see ’em until about 7.” “Pretty late, it seems to me,” remarked the visitor. “Well, you see, it used to be when you went to see a girl and take her riding Sun- day afternoon, she used to say: ‘Well, you come on up to our house to eat.’ Now, when supper time rolls around, they say, ‘Well, where are you going to take me to eat today?’”—Indianapolis News. Slow Pay—“How must I approach your father?” “Step into his office briskly, as if you were going to pay him money.” “Tcan’t.” “Why not?” “T’ve never had any experience at that sort of thing.”—Birmingham Age- Herald. Embarrassing—Little Eleanor gazed long and thoughtfully at the young man who was calling on her grown-up sister, Kate. “May I climb up on your knee, Mr. Browne?” “Yes, of course, dear,” smiled the young man who wanted to make a hit with the family. “Want to pull my hair—eh?” “No; I want to see if I can find that word.” “Word? aled visitor. “T heard our Kate say this morning that if ever a man had the word ‘idiot’ written all over his face it was you.”—Toronto Telegram. What word?” asked the puz- Even—John T. “went with” Susan for three years and then suddenly grew fickle and began to go with the youngest Allen girl. And Susan was decidedly peeved. She had entertained him well, fed him well, and had done everything in her power to win him. So when she heard he was going with the Allen girl she decided to get even. A little later her chance came. John’s sister at the Ladies’ Aid began to tell how regularly John was going to Allen’s. And when she was through Susan sniffed wisely. “At last,” she said with an air of triumph, “TI know something I’ve long wondered about.” Several pressed her to share her knowl- edge with them, and finally she did. “I know that the Allens set a good table,” she said with so much meaning that John’s sister was silent.—Indianapolis News.