Judge — July 2, 1921 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

{UCH Ww Is | RE- ed, ing his ald The Wrong Shift—T7he Boss—I find you've stolen over $500 worth of stock in the week you’ve worked here. And you were said to be honest as the day is long. The Culprit—Sure, I was! But you put me to work on the night shift.—-Detroit News. Terrible Blow—“The banker’s daugh- ter turned me down.” “Did it break your heart?” “Worse than that. It ruined my credit.’’ —Louisville Courier-Journal. The Choice—“ Fifty dollars a week!” The Old Man snorted. “You’ve got a nerve, talking about marrying my daughter on fifty a week! Why, that wouldn’t pay herstreet-car fare! ” “Hump!” grunted the Young Chump. “Tf she doesn’t hang around home any more’n that I can’t use her!” —Richmond Times-Dispatch. Simple Father—He was a good-hearted but rather simple-minded father, and he said to his son: “John, I’ve been informed that if anyone buried a half-dollar in the garden at night and let the moon shine on it the next morning it would be a five-dollar goldpiece.”” “Well, dad,” answered the son, “I should try it; you never know your luck.” The father agreed. When morning arrived he hurried into the garden. The coin had disappeared. He rushed back into the house and exclaimed to John: “It’s gone, John! How do you account for that?” John answered modestly: “ All I can sug- gest, dad, is that you got up too late and the sun (son) got at it.”— Houston Post. A Technical Error I mape a mistake. I STUFFED THE OLD COUNTESS AND EMBALMED THE PoopLe.”—Le Journal Amusant (Paris). “Great Scott! WEATHER REPORT SAY?”” Putting Up a Barometric Barrier UN mn Wife—I THINK, DEAR, IF IT KEEPS FINE I SHALL GO AND DO SOME SHOPPING. WHAT DOES THE Husband (hastily)—Raty, FOG, SLEET, SNOW AND A CLOUD-BURST EXPECTED!—Passing Show (London). Ain’t It Grand?—Mrs. Arista Krat— My son’s a geologist, and he’s piling up the rocks so we don’t know what to do with them. : Mrs. Reese Ently Rich—Ain’t it grand? My Charlie’s doing the same thing—but he’s in the grocery line.— Rochester Demo- crat and Chronicle. Talks Incessantly—“ Millions are in- volved in this divorce suit.” “Well, what about it?” “Oh, nothing, except that when money gets mixed up in a scandal it’s more garru- lous than ever.” —Birmingham Age- Herald. Not in the Wholesale Line—Anxious Mother—Yes, Mr. Roxley, the fact is that I have three daughters I want to see settled in life. Is this friend of yours a marrying man? Mr. Roxley—Not to any great extent. I’m afraid he wouldn’t care about taking more than one of them.—Boston Tran- script. Their Suggestions—An unfaithful steward had embezzled a large sum and his employer asked advice as to how he should be dealt with. “Get rid of him at once, Englishman. “Keep him and deduct the sum from his wages.” said a Scotchman. “But,” said the employer, “the sum is ”” advised an “far greater than his wages.” “Then raise his wages,” suggested an Irishman.—London Tit-Bits. 23 Then the Dust Flew—The scene was an old country farm-yard, and the farmer’s wife stood at the door. Down the pretty country lane a tramp, bedraggled and dirty, made his way. At the farm-yard gate he stopped and besought the farmer’s wife to give him something to eat to appease his hunger. “Come right into the yard,” said she, cordially. The tramp eyed the bulldog that was roving round the yard. The bulldog eyed him. “Come right in!” repeated the farmer’s wife. “T dunno about that,” answered the tramp. “How ’bout the dog? Will he bite?” “T don’t know,” said the farmer’s wife. “T only got him today, and that’s what I want to find out.”—Pittsburg Chronicle- Telegraph. His Fear—“There’s a piece of pie and a piece of cake for you,” said the woman at the back door to the tramp, angrily; “now I don’t ever expect to see you here again!” “What’s the matter, lady? Is yer goin’ t’ move?” was the unexpected reply. Yonkers Statesman. comicbooks.com