Judge — May 28, 1921 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Fortuitous Circumstance 0 THIS [8 HOW YOU KEEP YOUR OATH OF NEVER PUTTING YOUR FOOT INSIDE A CAFE AGAIN!” “ My pear, Lam notin THe care YOUNGSTERS = The Reason—Little Joc was at grandmother's house for dinner. Al- though fried chicken and many other mighty good things were on the table, Joe did not care to eat much, Then grand- mother began to coax him. One thing after another she brought to his notice Finally she said: “ Here’s my home-made sugar cookies. Aren't you going to try some of them, dear?” Little Joe attempted a smile. “That's what is the matter,”’ he explained. “I tried too many of them before dinner, grandma.”—Indianapolis News A Logical Inquiry—An eager-looking urchin approached a man hurrying to- ward the railway station. “Carry your bag, sir?” he asked. “No,” snapped the man. “T'll carry it all the way for a dime,” said the bo: “T tell you I don’t want it carried!” snarled the man. “Don't “No! 0. into a quick Whereupon the lad brok trot to keep up with his victim's hasty strides, as he asked, in innocent curiosity “Then what are you carrying it for?” —Philadelphia Public Ledger. TAM ON THE TERRACE. Could Not Afford It—Returning from the dentist's, where he had gone to have a tooth extracted, little Henry re- ported as follows: “The doctor told me ‘fore he began that if I cried or screamed it would cost me seventy-five cents, but if I a good boy it would be only half a dollar.” “Did you scream?” his mother asked. “How could answered Henry “You only gave me half a dollar.”— Houston Post. Relativity “WHAT Do YOU THINK OF MY DRESS Quauty oR Quastity?”"—Korsaren stiania). “ Possible Reason—"Why do people speak of horse sense with such enthusi- asm?” “Automobiles haven't any of it.’ Louisville Courier-Journ Paint Disturbed— Redd wife had an accident when she was out in Hear your her car yesterday? Greene—Oh, it didn’t amount to much. “Neither she nor the car hurt?” “No, only a little paint knocked off both.""— Yonkers Statesm conserving Words sod morning, Judge,” chirped the genial speeder as he stepped before Judge Hackett of Tacoma. * How are you this morning?” * Fine—$25,” said the Judge. Transcript. Boston Spoiling for Fun—“How is the ic system in this town. Like the traffic system of every other town.” “Well?” “A constant motorists who want to monopolize the streets and lose their tempers every time a large, imperturbable trolley car gets in their way.""—Birmingham Age- Herald “Why did irritation to Groundwork you sell your car?” “Cost too much for repairs.” “Wasn't it a good machine?” “First-rate. Never got out of order. But I had to pay for repairing the people it ran over.” —Minnea polis Journal. Not Possible—When a lady who was burning up the road” on the boulevard was overtaken by a traffic officer and motioned to stop, she indignantly asked “What do you want with me? “You were running forty miles an hour,” answered the officer. “Forty miles an hour? Why, officer. [I haven't been out an hour,” said the lady “Go ahead, is a new one on me. patch. Rear Lights—“So you represent the Noocar Company, do you?” “Yes, sir.” “Good company?” “Best going.” “Who's behind it?” “All our competitor Boston Transcript. said the officer. “That Pittsburg Dis said the agent. comicbooks.com