Judge — May 28, 1921 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Perfect Alibi—* A meck-looking darky was brought into a suburban police station just outside of Philadelphia and a petty charge was put upon the blotter He pleaded innocence Well,” asked the examining officer there anyone here who can vouch for your respectability?” Whereupon the darky the head of the small police force. “He can,” said the pointing to that officer. I can?” gasped the “Why, [don’t know you!” “Dat’s it exactly,” said the accused. I's lived in this place fo’ mo’ dan five yeahs an’ de police don’t even know me. gents, I can’t be such a hard lot." —Philadel phia Public Ledger Missionary Work—‘So lived in Africa, Sam?” “Oh, yas, sah.” “Ever do any there, Sam?” “"Deed I did, sah cannibal chief, sah!” singled out colored man, policeman So, yo" see you once missionary work out I was cook for a Yonkers Statesman As to Names—The late Champ Clark was christened James Beauchamp Clark, but he voluntarily dropped the first. nai and later, because people would insist on mispronouncing “ Beau- champ,” he re-christened himself with the name by which he was generally known. His case reminds us of the old darky’s plan. The latter was asked, “What have you named your baby, Rastus?”” “Sam Pro Tem. Johnson, sah yhat’s the Pro To show that the name is only tem- porary, sah. We kinder thought Sam might like to choose his own name when the te Pro Tem, as Boston Tran- he growed up, so we put ir a warning to de public.” script. through ignorant Insubordination — Hiking the small French town, an chicken, unversed in the appetites of Ameri darkies, crossed the road in front of a colored detachment. With much zeal a soldier broke forth from the ranks and set out in pursuit “Halt!” bellowed the officer in charge Both fowl and negro only accelerated their paces “Halt! Halt!” The dusky doughboy made one plunge, grasped the chicken by the neck stuffed it, still struggling, inside his shirt *Dere!” he panted. “Ah'll learn you to halt when de captain says halt Imerican Medical Asso- repeated the officer and Journal of the ciation A Considerate Soul W orld’s Oy ate “Tast Mas. Monten. Are you Tie sas WHO STRUCK My HUSBAND?” “No. Ir - was you woutp now Wiwow Meirer.”—Blactter (Munich) Also True—Bacon—I1 see that old joke about a fellow’s stolen umbrella is still going around. Egbert—That’s nothing. So is the umbrella.— Yonkers Statesman. He Knows to the Canadian wor her wildest. Nothing doing, old dear. I prefer to go to the beach and sce the women and the waves at their wildest.""—Florida Times-Union “Well, old boy, let’s go Is and see nature at Change Is Slow—" The world changes slowly. Manufacturers are still making celluloid collars and corkscrews,""— Baltimore Exening Sun Too True—* A man will trust his wife with the care of his children, but not with the care of his prize chickens.” Chicago N “ Neyer to it Detroit Philosophic Observation climb a mountain till you come then maybe it won't be there,” We Busybedies—* We all know what is best for cur neighbors; and if they we'll make a law pre St. Louis Globe- aren’t watching scribing it for them.” Democrat. Beats Apparatus—“Love may be blind, yet a girl can see more in the man of her choice than a physician can with the aid of an X-ray machine.”—Chic “How about that Did they An Oily Spouter oil company you invested in find a gusher: “Only the one that wrote the prospec- tus." —Boston Transcript. comicbooks.com