Judge — May 28, 1921 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

NC come A ALY The Great Symbol—AMyles—Don’t you think we'd all be happier if there was ho money in this world? Styles—Oh, no; my wife would never be satisfied or happy to play bridge just for beans!""—Yonkers Statesman Thrift— Father—Is he thrifty? Daughter—Thrifty, daddie! — Why, Jack’s saved over $10,000 out of that $100,000 his grandfather left him year before last.-—Boston Globe. The Deacon's Mite—“ What do you do when you find a poker chip in the col- lection basket?” “Sometimes I get excellent results.” “As to how?” “Last Sunday I found one, announced the fact and seven gentlemen sent up money to redeem it.” —Louisville Courier- Journal, It Would Be Interesting—“ Lec- tures are being delivered on every con- ceivable topic,” remarked Mr. Gadspur “Most of them don’t appeal to me,” said Mr. Dubwaite, “but I read in a newspaper the other about a fellow who led a double life on a salary of one hundred dollars a month. I would travel a considerable distance to hear him lec- ture on how he did it.”"—Birmingham Age- Herald. Professional Aid “My Proves: HUNGER “Fine! Hyctene recommMenps THAT YOU EAT VERE LITTLE AT MEALS TO KEEP YOUR peats activel"”—Le Journal Amusant (Paris) ear Doctor, AM LITERALLY WITH MY SALARY AS. DYING OF “Jack” and Jill “MA WANTS you BEFORE you Go, Dao—an? boo Inconsistent Man—* Men are such inconsistent beings!” said the Mormon wif “What's wrong now neighbor over the back fence. “Why, my husband’s been singing all day: ‘There’s only one gitl in this world for me!’”—Yonkers Statesman. asked her It Stopped Her Talk—A man took his wife to the doctor. He was a simple fellow, and had lived in the country all his life. The doctor placed a thermometer in the wife’s mouth. Just before he re- moved it the man, who had watched spellbound, being unused to such silence on the part of his better half, blurted out: ‘“‘Doctor, what will you take for that thing you put in her mouth?”—Boston Post. A Call from Home—‘‘I'd like to see Mr. Wadleigh.”” “He’s listening over the telephone,” said the discreet secretary. “Listening?” “Draw your own inference, sir. I won't say in so many words that Mrs. Wadleigh, who is at the other end of the wire, is doing all the talking. ""—Birming- ham Age- Herald. 1s V'arnxoxe, 100!"—London Weekly Telegraph Right at That—“We know what matrimonial bonds are.” “Well, papers?” “1 dunno them?” “Why, I'd call them liberty bonds.” —Atlanta Constitution. what would you call divorce what would you call How She Caught Him—Ars. Myles er catch your husband flirting? Mrs. Styles—Yes; once. “What did you do to him?” “Married him!” —Yonkers Statesman Firmness Proved— Mr. Gnages—And you used to say you wouldn’t marry the best man living. Mrs. Gnaggs—Well, I have the satis- faction of knowing that I kept my word —Philadelphia Record. Feminine Accounting—“My wife made out an itemized expense account for last month,” said Mr. Dubwaite. “Could you learn from her statement just what she bought?”” “No. Most of her purchases were listed ‘Ete’"—Birmingham —Age- Herald, Tied Down m: arried for 305 as {rthur—1 know a man, who stays at home Amy (with fe at is love “No! It’s rheumatism!”—BostonGlobe. (Continued on page 18)