Judge — May 21, 1921 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ITH THE COLLEGE The Cautious Lover SWEETHEART with the laughing eyes, Little angel in disguise re [ask your heart and hand ¢ | must understand Bef There's somethi Excuse my fra: But tell me—can you fry an egg? By your shy, enslaving glances I'm enthralled; your smile entrances I loved you then, I love you still If you'll darn my socks I always will Dear heart, I hate to coax and wheedle But tell me—can you thread a needle? Dear, you set my heart a-tremble Nymphs of Venus you resemble; You're a stunning dresser, All the girlies envy you, The world’s your oyster when you dance, But can you—COULD you patch my pants? Columbia Jester. Where He Got It Hea—Whence the black eye, old thing? Lea—Oh, I went to a dance last night and was struck by the beauty of the place.—Cornell Widow. Off Marcia—I heard that you were engaged toa shimmy dancer. Montague—I was, but she shook me.—Texas Scal per. Unkind He—Do you think I can make her happy? She—She will always have something to thugh at.—Yale Record. Doorbell—Is Mr. Monocte’s Mino very weak? Dumbell—Weax? I'tt_ say so! It can't zveN Waxpen.—Carolina Tar Baby Neors. Tue Ovtuse or a Desate We Agree! NedGraham—I've got the real thing in men’s hose Student—Why, you chump, the real thing is never found in men’s hose.—Washington and Lee Mink. Regrets I stood on the bridge at midnight, A tired, shivering soul My girl had helped me spend my jack— I couldn’t pay the toll. —Lehigh Burr. Advanced English Jessie—Billy swears awfully. James—(absent-mindedly)—Yes, I can do better myself.— Notre Dame Juggler. After Henry Again Mrs. Peck—Do you know that you talk in your sleep, Henry? Mr. Peck—Do you begrudge me those few words?—IWashington Sun Dodger. She Guessed It Lady—What’s the peculiar odor that comes from that field? Farmer—That's fertilizer. Lady—Well, for the land’s sake! Farmer—Y essum.—Virginia Reel. Any Restaurant Frosh—I'd like to get a job waiting on tables. Proprictor—Well, have you ever had any experience in waiting? Frosh—Ves, I've been eating here ever since I came to school.—Jowe Frivol. 26 pay Levy five dollars I owe him? Sun Dodger OUT OF COLLEG. 1 Wish— WISH I were a co-ed, A rare and radiant co-ed, \ fair, facetious co-ed, I do, I do, I do. t miss the chances ball games and dances, y quiet romances I'd have in four years, too. nsyloania Pu Don't Lose It by Me Dark Shadow—Hands up! Cohen—Will you vait a minute please till I Washington The Evils of Intemperance Two pints, one quart, Two quarts, one fight, One fight, two cops, Two cops, one judge, One, judge, thirty days. Syracuse Orange Peel. Nothing in It Father—What's this wild story I hear about your bank account being flat? Son—Tut, tut, dad, it’s overdrawn. —Cornell Widow. A Tragic Experience There are stone steps, There are wooden steps, There are dance steps, There are walking steps, By, oh, my Lord! PARENTAL FOOTSTEPS! —Pennsylvania Punch Bowl. Tuck—Wiandya GONNA BE WHEN YOU GET Tucker—I'M GONNA BE BROKE. Tuck—UM GONNA BE A LITTLE BROKER. —Dartmouth Jack O' Lantern comicbooks.com