Judge — April 23, 1921 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Foes of Prohibition—Mayor Moore of Philadelphia, said at a dinner: “Of course, if the government. will spend enough money, it can enforce pro: hibition. That is bound to be a hard r most law job, though. Some of « abiding citizens refuse to take the pro- hibition law seriously. “They are like the chap whose cellar was searched by a prohibition enforce ment officer the other day “*There are hundreds and hundreds of empty whiskey bottles in your cellar,’ the officer said. ‘How did they get there, friend?’ “*Blest if L know!’ And the owner of the cellar gave a hearty laugh. ‘Blest if I know! I never bought an empty whiskey bottle in my life.’ —Detroit Free Press A Juggernaut—* Did you get on the water wagon this year?” u don’t have to get on it now. It er you.” Lou ff Courter runs Journal. Her Phoney Language How 1s IT YOUR PARROT SWEARS sO sHocKINGLy?” “By AN OVERSIGHT TELEPHONE BooTH.” © WAS LEFT NEAR A asper (Stockholm In Demand—"Don’t you know it’s against the law to sell books like this!” asked the man who was browsing in a second-hand book store “What is it?” asked the proprictor. “A nder’s guide.” “Gosh! [ wonder where that book ne from? I didn’t know I had it in stock. Why, L can get more for that lit tle work than I can for a rare first edi- tion." Birmingham Age- Herald The Universal Occupation “So your son Matruew is tx Americal Wuat is ne boinc TurrE?” “Acinc!"—Fliegende Blactter (Munich). None But the Best—Much_ per- turbed twelve-year-old Rosie rushed into the hospital dispensary bearing on her arm the young hopeful of her family in the form of a two-year anta doctor, | wanta doctor “Itzy swallowed some am- monia and my mother wants to know if it'll do him anything.” The admitting physician, endeavoring to find out the strength of the liquid supposedly causing the excitement asked the child what kind it was. Delighted to show the family affluence, Rosie puffed up with pride and announced in her grandest manner, “Oh, Doctor, it was the very best kind.”— Survey. Short Notice—Father (to Sammy, home in a bedr 1 condition) t Scot! How you y—Yes, pa, I'fell ina mudhole. Father—What! And with your new nts on? mmy—Ves. 1 didn’t have time to take them off.—Boys’ Life p Just Like That—Teacher—Thomas, will you tell me what a conjunction is, and compose a sentence containing one? Thomas (after reflection) —A conjune- tion is a word connecting anything, such as “The horse is hitehed to the fence by his halter.” ‘Halter’ is a conjunction, because it connects the horse and the fence.” — Harper's Baz Sympathetic—Little Mary Ellen McKee is, as she terms it, “just half past four,” and lives around the corner from the Union Hospital in Terre Haute. Recently she received a tricycle, which she rides morning, noon and night. At first her rides were confined to her own street, but the other day she wished to ride around the corner “But the little sick children at the hospital will see you, and then they'll be unhappy because they can’t ride, too,” her mother told her. Mary Ellen was silent a minute. Then she said, earnestly, “Well, then mother, I won't ride it past the hospital When I get in front of it I'll get off and push it like it was hard work, and then they won't be unhappy. They'll be glad they can lie in bed and not have to push things like tricycles.” —Jndiana polis News. comicbooks.com