Judge — March 12, 1921 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Parton—I'M GOING TO TRY TO GET A DONATION FROM YOUR HUSBAND. ADVISE ME TO PROCEED? Fair Parishioner—Try 4 GOOD CRY—IF THAT WON'T WORK, GO INTO HYSTERICS.—Passing Show (London) —A. V. Peterson, adver tising manager of the O. S. L., has un earthed a rival of Uncle Sam. Art Fortier, of Anaconda, while on a prospecting trip, was astonished to ob serve that his partner, on drinking from a certain spring, suddenly became wildly hilarious. On examining the spring he immediately detected the ambrosial odor of corn whiskey. Further investigation disclosed a large body of a mineral to be known at present un- known to metallurgists. It is a yellow- ish, semi-solid mineral, readily soluble in water and assays about 82 per cent. al cohol. It ascertained that in an carly geologic period the Indians in that vicinity cultivated large areas of corn. One year Race Track creek overtlowed and washed the entire corn crop into a huge heap. The flood was followed by an eruption of Mount Powell and the ya flow of lava. Heat as “hoochore, was corn was covered t and pressure did the rest. The only thing worrying the happy prospectors is whether the fumes gen erated by the mineral might overcome the miners working in the tunnel which Her Method How wovrn you they expect to drive. It is expected that oxygen helmets will solve the problem. Union Pacific Family Bulletin. Making It Realistic“ Well, sir,” said the bartender in one of the few remaining wet towns, “what will you have?” Scotch highball,” said the stranger, as he looked about him in a dazed way “Pye been living for years ina dry town, “TL suspected that, sir. “Yes, sir, How all this carries me ack! Eh—as a personal favor to me will you spill a little beer on the bar and Birming put my change in it.” am I ge-Herald. Disbelief—The editor of the kali Eye dropped into our green-and-gold sanctum to tell us that he had started to bring us a quart of homebrew, but that it had eaten the bottom out of the bottle. If his breath had not raised a blister on our neck we might have believed him, Houston Chronicle. Irreparable Loss—* Anybody hurt in the wreck?” “One gentleman, I believe.” “Bones broken.” “T think it was his heart. by a leaking suit case and shed tears.”"— Age- Herald. aL) He sat down Birmingham Welsh as Spoken—Tourist—Good morning, my pretty maid! Whose sheep are these? Shepherdess—They Goronwy Cadwaladr, sir. Tourist—Oh! a very nice name, too. And where does he live? She pherdess—Vre'dgei Tourist—Nicer still, D. of them someti Shepherdess—Not oiten, sir; last year five of them tumbled over into Nanter chyclogwyneoch, and were killed. Tourist—What a place to tumble into, to be sure. What is that lake I sce over there: belong to Mr y you lose any Liynlle’rlly{nygwrdd. Have pherdess Tourist—Another jawbreaker! you been much from home at all? She pherdess—Only in Anglessey, sir. I went with my brother and my sister to the town of Llanerchyneddymmondo, and from there to see Creigiau Crugyll and came back to Llanfairmathafarnei- thalf, and the Tourist—Hold hard! let_ me breathe a little, my dear! Well, where after- wards? Shepherdess—Well, my brother had to go back to Shwarel Caebraichycafn, and my sister to Llanaellaiarn, but on our way home we went to see the little church by the river—such a funny old- fashioned church, sir, Tourist—Where is it? parish? Shepherdess—In Llanfairpwllgwyngyl- Igogerychwy rndrobwilllantysilioge 7 n That is enough! I mean what Dub You SAND FRANCS FOR MY PORTRAIT FULL FACE. HAVE CHARGED MEA THOU- Now, I Want you To MAKE TWO PROFILE PORTRAITS, ONE OF EACH OF MY CHILDREN, APD AS YOU WILL ONLY HAVE TO DO HALF Tue Work, I'LL GIVE you A THOUSAND FRANCS FOR THE TWO. RiciT?—Le Journal Amusant (Paris). comicbooks.com