Judge — March 12, 1921 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Before and After—“Before and arden ata “afford some ter pictures, Philadelphia mus very striking contrasts. ally true of before and after pictures This is espe- marriage. “A man sat with pipe and book and an eighteen-dollar bottle of hooch be fore the radiator one night while his wife turned a three-year-old dress The man laid down his book and tossed off hi th drink of hooch. His wife looked up at him calmly and. said “George, when you proposed to me you said you were not worthy to undo the “George stared at her in amazement “Well, what of it?’ he snarled. “Nothing,” she answered; ‘only I whatever else you Detroit Free tchets of my shoes.” will say for you th were you weren't a liar. Press Justifiable Arrest—“He's crazy your honor,”” said the policeman to the magistrate. ‘I found him standing at the corner scolding his wife.”” “That doesn’t. prove him crazy,” rejoined the judge. “His wife wasn’t there, 3 added the policems Bulletin honor,” del phia Married Life—"I gave my husband no cause for fault-finding.”” “That’s a mistake. A little fault finding keeps ‘em occupied.” —Louis le Courier-Journal, What He Loses—It is all right fora man to get married. It is the natural thing and the desirable thing for him to do. But he should understand one thing. When he gets married he exchanges the friendly interest of every other woman in the world for the open suspicion of one.—P, Iphia Ledger. Yea, Bo!—She was a pretty and am- bitious girl and had studied the matri monial problem to a nicety “Yes, [ suppose 1 shall wed even- tually,” she said, “but the only kind of masculine nuisance that will suit me must be tall and dark, with classical features. He must be brave, yet gentle. Withal he must be strong—a lion among men, but a knight among ladies.”” That evening a bowlegged, lath She Measured Up » THE STAGE NOWADAYS CALLS FOK EXCEPTIONAL QUALIFICATIONS. THEM—HALF AN INCH BETTER ALL ROUND TILAN ANY OF YOUR PRESENT framed youth, wearing check trousers and smoking a cigarette that) smelt worse than a burning boot, rattled on the back door and the girl knocked four tumblers and a cut-glass fruit-dish off the sideboard in her haste to get to him —Boston Globe Not So Hard for Them Here Whenever a widow in Japan wants to get married again she signifies her desire by fastening her hair in the back with tor- toise-shell pins, but in this country the widows fix their hair any old way and t the same results.—Tarpon Springs (Fla.) Leader. A Modern Simile “How ware 11 Looks! “Yes. JUST AS IF IT HAD BEEN PAsseD lla (Barcelona). BY THE CENSOR.” —Es, 7 ONTHEFARM eae a Art and Industry—‘ Josh,” said Farmer Corntossel, to his son, “I wish you'd quit practicin’ the ukulele and take up the slide trombone.” “What for?” “T think it’s more improvin’. It'll help your lung power for drivin’ cattle an’ give your, arm a little exercise for swingin’ a scythe.”"—Washington Star. The Test—Old Friend—Is your son doing well down in the city? Mrs. Jones—Doing well! Why, say —he’s just had his appendix and gall bladder removed.—Journal of the Amer ican Medical Association Home Influence—‘“Is your boy Josh happy and contented on the farm? “Yes,” replied Farmer Corntossel; “the old place puts him in a fine frame of mind. When Josh gets tired of the gay city, he comes home for a few square meals and nobody could be more comfortable. But the way he tells about the caberays and the motion pic- tures is makin’ mother an’ me down- right restless an’ dissatisfied.”—Wash- ington Star.