Judge — February 19, 1921 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Knocking Sweeny — Frothingham Dodge, the Boston municipal reformer, in the course of an address to Harvard students, said: “Man wasn’t made to loaf. The minute he begins to loaf he takes to drink or hypochondria—I don’t know which is worse. “There’s a loafing hypochondriac named Sweeny, who spends all his time talking about his health. He’s always ailing, and usually when you go to see him you find him in bed with a headache or rheumatism or dyspepsia or what not. “Sweeny was tottering feebly down the street one day when he fell in with a burly friend named Georg “George,” he said, ‘I'd give anything to be as strong and healthy as you are. What “do you live on?’ “*T live on fruit,’ said George. “*Fruit, eh?’ said Sweeny eagerly. ‘That sounds good. I'll have to try it What kind of fruit, George?’ “*The fruit of labor,’ George answered significantly.” —Derroit Free Press. Trying to Shake Auntie—“So you've hired an apartment on the top floor of the Skye Building?” “Yes; we move next v ” “What's your idea of going so high up—trying to escape the mosquitoes?” “Tt isn’t that. My wife has an aunt who won't,ride in clevators. She has trailed us up twelve flights of stairs, but I think she'll balk at twenty-five.—Boston Transcript A Belgian Way—Mr. Newgilt—Hog- itall says he met you on the street and you refused to recognize him, He's com- mon folks and all that, I know, but he’s a diamond in the rough. His Daughter—1 know he's a diamond in the rough. That’s why I cut him.— Houston Post. The Wandering Boy—“Did your boy Josh do like the heroes of the old sto- ries by coming back home on Christmas nd paying the mortgage on the old answered Farmer Corntossel. You couldn’t look for any old business like that from Josh. He came back with a brand-new automobile and showed me how I could borrow enough money to pay for it.’—Washington Star. Funny Thing—Words! . THE FOURTH FLOOR THIRD FLOOR—AT No Place for It—Lunatic asylum with attendant)—Is that clock ~Yes, quite right. ‘Then what on earth is it —London Tit-Bits. Sympathetic Visitor (to disciple of much ¢ CRITICS ARE HORKID! Show (London.) Hard to Guess—* Talking about poker faces.” “Yes?” “One of the best belongs to the girl with a baby stare.”’—Louisville Courier- Journal. Her New Industry—" Jack will never become a success as a literary man.” “How's that?” ‘I've submitted his love letters to every publisher in town, and they've all refused them,””—London Mail. Couldn't Be Pleased—“ Kind of hard to please women,” Blinks sighed. “What now?" Jinks asked sympa thetically. “My wife harped so on how much more attention men paid to women be fore marriage that I had a big bunch of roses sent out to the house and took her a box of fine cand “And wasn’t she pleased?” Oh, I dunno. She's been talking ever since about how much more sensible it would have been if I'd sent out a ham and brought home a new door-ma Los Angeles Times. Sweet Consolation ticized Cubist school)—Reatiy, | Tuink THE YOUR THINGS AREN'T NEARLY AS BAD AS THEY'RE PALNTED.—Passing comicbooks.com