Judge — February 19, 1921 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

OUT BARLY THIS MORNIN’, A Guilty furtive look?” “I'm carrying home‘a package of wet goods bought from a reliable bootlegger,”” said Mr. Jagsby. “Then what are you afraid of?” “Oh, nothing, nothing. But, con- found the luck, everybody wh alks behind me seems to be wearing rubber heels.""—Birmingham Age- Herald nscience—"Why the That Dear Old Boiler—Yeas:—1 understand you send all your family wash to the laundry now Crimsonbeak—Yes, we do. “Then you can throw your old wash- boiler away.” “And ge beer in? nd buy something to make ot much!""—Vonkers States- man Looking for a Wet Sign—" Why are you standing here so long?” asked the police officer. “I'm thinking of going into this res- taurant to get a me: replied the stranger. Well, why don’t you go in, then?” I've been waiting to see if any men with red noses go in there first.” —Wash- ington Star. than Poetry Me Lapy? OVE TO SEE THE SUN RISE S WAS LUCKIER THAN ME; WEREN'T THEY?” HE LITTLE HILLS WITH GOLD. London Mail. Guessing at That Word—What the Governor of North Carolina now says when he meets the Governor of South Carolina is still in doubt. You will recol- lect that the Detroit Free Press pro- claimed it to be a word of four letters, beginning with H. Many guesses have been made at what such a word could be. ‘Hist! and “Heat!” and “Help!” were submitted, but generally considered un- satisfactory. J. W.S. says he can guess what it isn’t—* Hoc Eheu suggests “H'ray!” while T, G. thinks “Heck” might be the word. We are still search- ing.—Cleveland Plain Dealer. Lawyer—Weit, we won our case, Mr. Sxineunt! Client—Rearty? Wett, you're THE uit! —Fliegende Blaetter (Munich) Long Service too Much for Her— Mary was frankly bored. She twisted this way and that until even the minister was conscious of the wriggling blue bow. She climbed up on the seat and made faces—horrible goblin faces—at the sedate little person in the next pew; but the sedate little person, remembering the occasion, made no answering grimace. Mary’s innings were yet to come. In the midst of the long, solemn prayer her shrill little voice was raised in protest. “Aw, come on, let’s go home. This ain't no fun. And Mary went. Post. w York E ning Not the Insect—“I have many times heard people refer to a whale as a fish,” remarked a librarian in a Western town, “but it remained for a certain young- ster, a patron of our institution, to intro- duce a totally new classification of the creature. “*Please,’ said the lad, ‘let me have a book on whales.” “Very shortly the youthful student was provided with a book on natural history and his attention invited to a chapter on whales. ““The boy gave one look at the vol- ume, and then said: “Oh, I don’t mean a book on the in- sect! I mean the country!”"—Philadel- phia Ledger. He Drew Conclusions—Jack went to school for the first time last September. The little neighbor boy, who was in the second grade, took him. And mother anxiously waited for his return. “ Did you like it, dear?” she asked the minute he came into the living-room. ‘o,”” he returned shortly Why, didn’t you have a er?” came question No. 2. She didn’t know nothin’,” came the disgusted response. “She asked more questions than Baby Ruth does.”— Detroit Free Press. nice teach- The Lucky Fifth—‘Nice children you have. Which is this?” he fifth.” “He seems to be the healthiest-looking of the lot.” “Yes, by the time he came along, his mother had run out of theories.”— Boston Transcript. comicbooks.com