Judge — January 1, 1921 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ot Mother Earth—He was at um. I'm Gtap He's cone! His New Year’s Gift LAWYER, an enthusiastic *™ chicken fancier, spends much money coddling blooded hens that do not lay. He had several guaranteed to be layers, yet morning after morn- ing he returned empty-handed from his search for eggs. On New Year’s morning, he was greatly delighted to find four beauti- ful, pearly eggs in a nest. How tri- umphantly would he show them to his skeptical wife. Not until he reached the door, and the bright morning ‘light fell on the eggs, did he notice that each bore the neatly penciled greeting “Happy New Year from the Old Hens.” Some of the most flattering testi monials are found in autobiographies. OLD CHARACTER T was HALF AFRAID oF Ecstasy By Wacree B. Worre E kissed his wife good-bye with evident zest. Before he left the house he complimented the cook on the scrambled eggs which heretofore he thoroughly detested. He walked to the subway as though the streets were paved with gold and carpeted with red samite for his triumphal pas sage. He gave the newsboy a dime for the Times, and his seat to a Polish washer-woman. He was ec- static. His whole being seemed to surge and throb with the joy of great discovery. He saw the poetry of nature, of inanimate objects, as he had never felt it before. He thought that the stock market reports were lyric. His office boy, discovered with his feet on the desk, was not repri- manded. He could have the 2fter 6 noon off. He sat down to his desk and work, beaming with a new pleasure and great joy. He called a number on the phone. His voice was all smiles when he got the club after three abortive attempts. “George? I'm spotting you five holes in the golf match this afternoon, and there will be a party at the nineteenth. No;I’m not joking. Little celebration. Anniversary? No; something won derful happened ! c, I found a collar-button this morning that fell on the floor and didn’t roll under the dresser!” His Desire By To P. Morcax OING to the Uncle Tom’s Cabin show to night, Rile?”’ asked old Austin Edgeways. “ZT haven't seen Uncle Tom for so long I kinda figgered I'd enjoy it.” “So would I, if my dratted rheumatiz would let me, but, as ’tis, I’m too mizzable to step out of the house,” replied old Riley Rezzi “As you're going, Ork, I wisht you'd do me a favor—just take pertickler note, and let me know if them blood-hounds have ketched Eliza yet?" Gee lew Possible Reason Hokus—I don't see how that fellow Skinnum can be laughing all the time when he’s so crooked. Pokus—Maybe he’s so crooked he can’t even keep a straight face. Guide to New York, No. 1 % ee? Draws by Joax Heo CHINATOWN A MATRIMONIAL accident This hybrid of the Orient Whose quaint costume and almond eyes / Might easily provoke surprise— Did not one quite so often meet This New York girl on Doyer Street