Judge — January 1, 1921 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

x Z Different: Animal—AMiss Burden—1 overheard that dear young man telling you I danced like a zephyr. Miss Bright — Zephyr? He — said “heifer.” —Boston Transcript Why We Snorted—We sat in front of them at the theater. It was during the tense minute of the play when the hero- ine was about to part forever from her sweetheart “Say,” said the woman behind us to her friend, “do you break many dishes? You know I’m awfully unlucky that way.” —Detroit Free Press. Correct!— One thing you never saw a woman do. Buy a big pair of shoes in order to get the worth of her money in leather.—Hizabethtown News. Her Relation to Business—A man in business ought to have a pretty wife, a good dresser and well-mannered. She's 1 part of his window display. But she yughtn’t to have any brains. A woman with brains always makes trouble. She Chicago News. wants to act on her own. Potential Cook Spoiled —“ Miss Peacher has been voted the most beauti- ful girl in town.” “Ah! What effect will that have on her?” “For one thing, I fear the money her father spent in sending her to a school of domestic science will be a total loss.”” Birmingham Age- Herald. The Modern Girl—Cortlandt Bleecker said at a luncheon at Dark Harbor: “The modern girl's morals are not what her mother’s were. I was talking theother morning to a modern girl in an ultra- modern bathing suit 1y hired chaperon,” she said, as she brushed a bit of sand from her bare, round knee—my hired chaperon caught’ me kissing a married man last night.” “*Good heavens!’ said I. *What did you do?’ “*T discharged her,’ said the modern girl.”’—Detroit Free Press. The Real Topic—“ Are you still talk- ii pout what that audaciously dressed lady had on? “No,” replicd Miss Cayenne; “what she hatdn't.""—IWashington Star. The Identical Ide fl Ge ode Bite HAS MISSED A FRIEND FOR SOME TIME AND GOES TO THE MORGUE TO MAKE INQUIR- 1s. “HAS YOUR FRIEND ANY MARKS OF IDEN- TIFICATION?” “Yes. He's a LITTLE DEAF IN THE LEFT rar."—Korsaren (Christ nia). Improvement on a Husband— “Mamma!” cs, my child.” “What is alimony?" “Alimony, my daughter, is something which is considered by many women as an improvement on a husband.” Yonkers Stateman. A Rough Guess—*Pa,”” asked little Thomas Glipping, “What's a counter irritant?” “A counter-irritant?” said Mr. Glip ping, who was reading his paper. “I guess that must be a woman who shops all ¢ and doesn’t buy anything.” Birmingham Age- Herald. Wanted a Profit.—A idder—I don't suppose you'd take his weight in gold for your new baby would you? Newpop—No, I should hardly like to sell out at cost.—Boston 7 script. A Very Safe Bet—Flathush—A patent has been issued for a full-sized baby coach which can be folded and carried under a person’s arm. Bensonhurst—But Vil bet the baby can’t: be shut’ us as neatly as that.— Vonkers Statesman, Identified—Bobhy—Mummy, it says in this book that a baby fed on elephant’s milk gained twenty pounds in one day. Mother—Nonsense, Bobby! Does it say whose baby it was? Bobby—The clephant’s of course, mum- my.—Passing Show (London) Progress—The Fond — Mother—Just think! Little Percival is beginning to talk. He's learning to recite “ Baa, baa, black sheep, have you any wool? The Proud Father—No! Does he say all that? The Mother he’s got as far as ‘Baa, baa!"’ Globe. Not allof itas vet. But Boston The Old Order Changeth “MorHer, WHEN SHALL I BE OLD ENOUGH YOR REALLY TRULY SHORT SKIRTS?” —London Mail. 7 ——— ——i1—— comicbooks.com