Judge — January 1, 1921 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Taking Him at His Word He—Tuar's our Wate-nack, Jisaty Pirrte BEST MAN SOON The Young Thing Cause and Effect—"How do these grouches get wives?” “Many of them were not grouches until they did lle Courier-Jour- nal. "—Louisy Getting Practical— “ You know Boobins, the tenor, who used to sing to Miss Skeezicks that every morn he would bring her violets?” “Yes; did he?” “That's what he did, and they got rried; and now they're living in the country where every morn he has to bring her two buckets of water and help wipe the dishes!" — Richmond Times-Dispaich. His Reason—Mrs. Yeast—I never saw such a man as you are. Mr. Yeast—What's now? “Why, you never say the right thing at the right time.” “Well, no wonder. Our clocks are al- ways wrong.” — Yonkers Statesman. wrong with me Ready Alibi—‘See here, John.” “Well?” “Is this face powder on your coat?” No, my dear, billiard chalk. I must have leaned against the cue. Louisville Courier-Journal. On, Witrren! Tuts ts so suppen! I was at scnoot with wit, Het we our London Mail. Unable to Say—" Is your wife receiv- ing today?” “T don’t know whether she is receiving or giving,” replied Mr. Bliggins. “She's playing bridge.""—Boston Transcript. As Usual—* Do you have any trouble with your furnace?” “Getting my husband to look after it is all."—Detroit Free Press Did It Work?—II if another new hat. Hubby—Well, if she were as attractive as you are, my dear, she wouldn't have to depend so much upon the milliner. Portland Exening Express. Mrs. Jones has In Bad—“ Your wife is angry.” “T'll square that with a pair of kid gloves. , she is very angry. I fear you have offended her to the extent of a fur coat.” —Louisville Courier-Journal. Corrected—“Well, if it isn’t little Peggy Parker,’ cried an ex-neighbor, meeting the child at the movies. “No, it’s Peggy Brown,” the little one corrected. “Mother an’ me got married again.” —Boston Transcript A Loser—“I never argue with my wife.” “You don’t!” “No. I used to in the early days, but I simply got tired of losing.”—Derroit Free Press. 18 Unfeeling Court—“Your honor,” said the prisoner with tears in his eyes, “do you realize what it means to send me up for ten repli that you are going to do more work for the State than you ever did for your wife and seven children. Next case."—Bir- mingham Age-Herald. An Argument—‘ You are accused of evading the law.” “That can’t be true, your honor.” “Heh?” “Tf L had evaded the law th have caught me.” —Louisville Journal. y wouldn't Courier- An Indifferent View An amusing incident occurred in a trial I attended not long ago,” says a lawyer. “*Have you,’ demanded the judge. after the customary formula, ‘anything to before sentence is pronounced against you?’ ““Only one thing, your honor,’ said the convicted burglar. ‘The only thing I have objected to in this trial was being identified by a man who kept his head under the bed-clothing the whole time I was in the room. It strikes me that that is not right at all.’""—Philadelphia Ledger. Only Normalcy “Say, YOU SAID YOU WERE NEVER TIRED, "VE CAUGHT YOU SLEEPING IN pinc? Wett, wHat or tr? Ir Lois" steer a urtte, | woutn ne just AS TIRED AS THE REST OF YO! —Strix (Stockholm). comicbooks.com