Judge — January 1, 1921 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Riotous Trio “WHAT provcuT you TWo POLICEMEN, SIR Drunk, | surrose Yrs, stk, BoTH OF Around Genius—Oswall Naumann and wife have moved from Hammond, La., to Paragould, Ark. If the people up there want to hear good music or have a piano tuned, he’s the one to make ‘em hum, and also furnish paint to make the shabbiest house in that old town look new.— Raceland Gu wtte An All Anybody Can Have It—"Is poctry what might’ be called ‘free your verse “Commercially Mr. Penwiggle ington Star, ansv cred Wash speaking,” VU say it is.” A Triumph—As the man and _ the maid strolled through the picture gallery she stopped before one of the exhibits. Oh, how sweet!” she breathed. “T wonder what it means?” he said. as he eyed the pictured pair who clung together in an attitude of love. “Oh, Charlie, don’t you see?” the girl chided tenderly. “He has just asked her to marry him and she has consented. It's lovely!’ What does the artist call the picture?” The young man leaned nearer and eyed a label on the frame. I see!” he cried. “It’s printed on this card here—‘Sold!’"— Houston Post. No Argument There—Jhe Critic thing I can’t understand about your class Manager—What’s that “You call a performer an ‘ “Well, why not?” An artist is a person who draws.” “You said a mouthful.” Telegram There’s one tist.”"” Voungst His Activities —First Artist—Been do ing anything lately? Second Artist—L knocked off a couple of girls’ heads last week and finished off the Mayor of Mudmouth.— Edinburgh Scotsman Barber—Y ts, six, UNLESS We GET THE INCREASE WE ALL LAY DOWN OUR SHEARS AT TWELVE O'CLOCK TopAY.—London Sc Journal. 16 > a Enlisting Help good salesman, a convi Thank you, boss.” “So IT wish you would go home with me and explain to my wife that we have really been detained at the this evening.” —Louis “Flubdub, you area ing talker.” office le Courier-Journal. An Enthusiast—* Did you get an in terview with Mr. Grabcoin? “Without the least difficulty.” said the smart salesman, “How did you manage?” “I put my golf score on the card [sent in to him.” —Birmingham Age- Herald. Department that patent- Seemingly Appropriate Manager—I had to fire leather haired clerk floor Walker—Why? * A red-headed man came in and asked for hair oil.” “Ves ” *And that boob gave him a bottle of russet_ shoe polish.” —Youngstown Tele- gram. An Obliging Salesman—The woman shopper looked and looked, but seemed to be unable to find anything to satisfy her. The obliging clerk pulled down box after box in an attempt to make a sale. Finally the woman picked up her gloves and parasol and observed “TL don’t think TIL buy anything to- day. I'm sorry to have troubled you, but the fact is I was just looking for a friend.” ‘Oh, that’s all right. It was no trouble at all, I assure you,” the clerk answered “In fact, if you think your friend might be in any of the few remaining boxes, I'll open them, too!" — Harper's Magazine. Independent— Vew Salesman (hotly) —I will take orders from no man! Salesmanager (coldly)—Yes, 1 that while you were on your trial trip. Minneapolis Journal noted A Total Loss—"Why did you dis- charge your new clerk?” “He was too accommodating,” said the grocer “What?” “He kept opening canned goods to show lady shoppers they were in a fine state of preservation.” Birmingham Age- Herald. comicbooks.com