Judge — December 25, 1920 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Nature Is Kind—* My wife speaks six different langua, . “Unlucky man! “Oh, it’s all. right. more than one at a time Boston Transcript. She can't speak fortunately The Old Story—Mrs. Wabash—l thought when [ married you that you were original Mr, Wabash—And am I not? “No, you're using the same excuses for staying out late that all my other hus bands used!” — Yonke alesman. Poor Excuse—His wife was one too many for Mr. Dobbs, but, nevertheless, he persevered in his efforts to get an oc- casional night at the club. “My dear,” he remarked the other day, “have only just realized how im perfect Lam in my knowledge.” His wife agreed. “No man,” continued Mr. Dobbs, “ought to assume that his education is inished. As for myself, I am going to forge ahead and take up the study of as: tronomy.” The look in his wife's eyes became more than Her cold, tone ever. hard voice as- Her cagle-like sumed a back ened. Benjamin,” she must try again. That exc late at night won't do! thundered, “you r staying -London out Tit A Valuable Tip—The happy couple were on their way to New York. They had to change trains at Providence, and an obliging porter, while struggling with their baggage, made mental note of the fact that the young woman's hair was dotted with rice. Presently he young man, and pulling a folded paper from his pocket, said: “Here's a present for vou, sir, with the mpany’s compliments.” ndecd!” said the traveler. approached the glad “What is “A. railway map, sir.” “Oh, thank you; and what are these marks in blue pencil?” “There's the beauty of it, sir,” said the smiling porter; “those marks show just where the tunnels are, and their length.” That porter knew a thing or two.—Los Angeles Times Disturbing the Piece Tue Max Wuo Saw tue Now Who's Got the Button?—He hated having his photograph taken but his wife, indirectly, had forced him to undergo the much dreaded ordeal When she saw the photograph she cried out in horror, “Oh, George, you have only button on your coat!” “Thank replied friend — husband That's why I San Fran- one Heavens,” “you've noticed it at last had the photograph taken.” cisco. Argonaut. A Technical Point—“You vowed you would obey me at the altar!” “Yes, but we are not always at the altar!” —Fliegende Blaetter (Munich). Calling Him to Order Waiter—Wor tt ve ‘ave, sir? Pa ‘Ont, JUST GIMME THE CASHIER, BO —Le Rite (Parts) 19 Joxe The Passi Dieting—Recently a dispensary pa tient was placed on a strict and scant dict, on which she did net improve as was expected. The doctor sent a social worker out to investigate The patient admitted that she was much worse, but protested, almost tear- fully, that she had eaten everything as the doctor had ordered. “What else did you cat?” asked the inspired social worker. Nothing except my regular meals.” said the truthful patient.—/ndiana polis News. Profitable Pursuit me men make money out of lumber, others out of wool, still others out of cotton, corn or wheat.” “A man can make moncy out of al- most anything nowadays, if he knows how.” “That's true.” “T’ve just met a member of the medical profession who told me he made ten dollars last year out of Birmingham Age-Herald. thousand adenoids.”