Judge — December 25, 1920 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Work of 4 I ask what you are readin * May The memoirs of a motion picture bathing beauty.” “Interesting?” “LT should say so! There are 50 pages of reading matter and too pages of illustrations.” —Birmingham Age- Her ld Heavy—“What knocked out that movie comedian?” “Hit by . Why, he is bombarded by pies every ! day.” } “His bride i she made herself.” —Le le Courier- rnal. Sarcasm—"‘All that the motion pic- ture lacks is the mere matter of human speech.” “Well,” replied Mr. Stormington Barnes, who never will forget the palmy days, “that’s all a deaf-and-dumb asylum lacks."—Washington Star | i 1H Asking Too Much—The Heroic Star ; —I'm tired of these breakneck stunts. f Haven't you another part for me? it The Director—Nothing but a } part, playing opposite your wife. The Star—Lead me back to the cliff. lover's Lifting t IF ADVERTISERS EMPLOYED SANDWICHMEN A Transparent Excuse threw this, It was one “WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY GETTING A DRESS LIKE THAT “Laave soiwen THe Leacve ror Eco: Crornixe Coxsumrriox Kar egy—Friend—What! Raised the mission again? ter Owner—I've got to do it periodically. If I don't, my patrons will think I'm giving them cheaper pictures.— Film Fun Alw Some Hitch—"I want to go into the movies.” “Well, why don’t you study for the movies, girlie? “Huh! Does it take study?”’—Louis- Courier-Journal he Veil LIKE THIS, THEY WOULD BE SURE OF HAVING THEIR ADVERTISEMENTS READ!—London Weekly Telegraph. 18 A Varied Career—* And what are you going to be when you grow up, little man?” asked the visitor “Well,” answered the boy thoughtfully “after I've been a preacher to ple: mother and a judge to please father, I'm going to policeman.""—Boston Transcript. ie be a Waste Not—Mother Peggy's hair, and as she was about to clear the clippings away, the little girl stopped her. “Mother, you're not going to throw my ir away, are you?” What's the good of always cuts h, Yes, my dear. keeping it?” “Why, can't you make it grow grandpa’s head? He's got no hair at all.” London Answers. n Doing Her Share—Several members woman’s club were chatting with a laughter of their hostess. are a great help to li i suppose you your mamma,” said one “Oh, yes.” replied the little miss, “and so is Ethel, but it’s my turn to count the spoons today after the company is gone. Boston Transcript. Resources—Edward and his grand- mother are great “pals.” Therefore, it was with much sorrow that he looked on at the preparations for Grandmother's departure er home. “Grandma,” he said wistfully, will you do without any little boy with you when you get home?” “Well, of course, I shall miss you very, very much, Edward, but then I have resources for amusement at home, too,” answered Grandma. Edward looked puzzled, but said nothing. But evidently Grandmother's “resources” troubled him, for next day, slone with his mother, he said, after a ong Mother, where does Grandma keep her race horses? I never saw them.”"— Indianapolis News. ‘what to play silence: One of Them—* Mother, what do you think?” said her little six-year-ol “some of the boys in our class didn’t know how to spell ‘candidate’.” “Well, dear, how did you spell i “Me? Oh, I was one of 'em. ton Transcript.