Judge — December 25, 1920 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

About Time—“It’s about time this chap took my book on the ‘Improve- ment of the Memory.’ He has paid me for it three times.”—Fliegende Blaetter (Munich) Strictly Commercial—“ We have a mummy in this museum,” said the guide, “that has had some wheat in his hand since the days of the Pharaohs.” “Well,” rejoined Mr. Dustin Stax, “I'd advise him not to hold on any longer. Wheat’ll never be any higher.” —Washington Star. Dangerous Fish—Jones was talking to some friend of a fishing-trip he was contemplating on his holiday. “Are there any trout up there?” ques- tioned one of the friends. “Trout? Thousands of ’em,” replied the other enthusiastically. y?” reiterated Jones. “Why, they're absolutely vicious! A man has to hide behind a tree to bait his hook,.”— Los Angeles Times. A Possible Reason pear to have no enterprise “What do you mean?” “Never seem to hunt Injuns.”” “Well, maybe we killed 'em all off when we were young.”—Lonisville Courier- Journal The kids ap- in these days.’ His Calling r—IP THE OPPOSITION THINKS IT CAN DISTURB ME BY ITS CRIES AND CLAMOR, IT 18 ENTIRELY MISTAKEN. I AM USED TO BEING CALLED “110t” AND “BLockHEAD.”—Meg gendorfer Blactter (Munich) His Prehistoric Predilection Q Qe Worth Trying—"Here 1 am, unable to find a place to lay my head, yet the town is full of gar: said the fretful visitor. “Why don’t you speak to a garage owner?” said the optimistic citizen. ‘For the price of a hotel room and bath he might let you sleep in a car.” —Birming- ham Age- Herald. Sure Thing—‘“Now, officer, what law am I violating? “T don't know yet, but I'll look you over. You.must be violating some law. 7 QUEER SORT 0° PROFESSION YOU'VE TAKEN UP, MATE ES, AS A MATTER OF FACT, MY PEOPLE WANTED ME TO REA PARSON. As THE SAYIN’ GOES, Yer can’t serve Gawo You’ve got a car, haven't you?” Louisville Courier-Journal. No Rattle Yet—Bacon—You know my next-door neighbor has been talking of getting a flivver. Egbert—I know it. Hasn't he got it yet? “T think not. 1 haven't heard any disagreeable noise from that direction.” Yonkers Statesman. Excessive Gallantry—" You seem to ave been in a serious accident.” “Yes,” said the bandaged person. “T tried to climb a tree in my motor- car.” “What did you do that for?” “Just to oblige a lady who was driving another car. She wanted to use the road.” —Birmingham Age- Herald.