Judge — December 18, 1920 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Fixed Desire—“ What's the trouble. Mr. Dibbs?” “Mrs. Dibbs has a single-track mind.” h It’s been running on a motor car for three years.""—Birmingham Age- Herald. My Auto 'Tis of Thee.—My auto " of thee, short road to poverty, of thee I chat. Iblewa pile of dough, on you three years ago; now you refuse to go, or won't or can’t. Thru town and countryside, you were my joy and pride, a happy day I loved the gaudy hue, the nice white tires new, but you're down and out for true, in every way. To thee, old rattle- box, came many bumps and knocks, for thee I grieve. Badly the top is torn frayed are the seats and worn; the whooping-cough affects thy horn, I do Thy perfume swells the breeze believe. while good folks choke and wheeze as we pass by. I paid for thee a price, "twould buy a mansion twice, now everybody's yelling “ice”’—I wonder why? Thy motor has the grip, the spark plug has the pip, and woe is thine. I, too, have suf- fered chills, fatigue and kindred ills, en deavoring to pay my bills, since thou were Gone is my bank roll now, no mine, The Socialized “Don't syore were! Dio you ever sre (Munich) more ‘twould choke the cow, as once before! Yet, if I had the mon, so help me John—amen, I'd buy a car again and speed some more,—I/nternational Journal of Surgery. Real Bravery—Redd—He's what I call a brave man Greene—What do you mean by a brave man? “He's not afraid to die.” “How do you know he’s not afraid to die?” “*Cause he lets his wife drive his car when he's in it.”"—Yonkers Statesman Released Too Soon . Imrossinie, Mavam! WAT BACON YOU SENT ME YESTERDAY WAS BAD.” Why, IT WAS ONLY CURED LAST WEEK, “Wet, THEN, 1's HAD A RELAPSE.” —London Mail. Royal Box Fi rie KING sxore mere Than Some Folks— Purchaser—You told me that parrot [ bought of you was the most intelligent bird in your shop, while the fact is it doesn’t talk at all Dealer—That’s what [ meant when I spoke of his intelligence, mum.—Boston Transcript. Knew More Self-Reliant—* You seem. proud of your new son-in-law.” very “Lam. He's been in the family three months now and so far hasn't asked to get a better job for him.”—Derroit Free Press Enterprising—* What hit me?” “A motorcycle.” “Impossible. I counted four wheel: “Tt ran over you twice.” —Birming- ham Age- Herald. Catastrophe— Pedestrian (to motor- cyclist who is looking bewildered at his Lost any thing, mister? Ves. What My girl machine) Motorist Pedestrian Motorist is it? A Wise Banqueter— HHemmand) I saw you at the banquet last night. Shimmer pate—N es, 1 was there. “But LT couldn’t understand why you passed up and down the aisles from one table to another.” “To be frank and confidential with you I was just trying to find a place where the cantaloupe looked good."’— Voungstown Telegram. comichooks.