Judge — December 11, 1920 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

a Digest of the World’s Slow Pay—* Collections can’t be very “What makes you think so?” “1 noticed you rubber-stamped my last bill ‘please remit.’ ‘There must be a lot of slow-pay fellows on your books if you've had to have a rubber stamp made for 'em.”—Detroit Free Press. Not Impressed—“Here’s a very fine landscape, sir,”’ said the art dealer, “It's only $10,000.” Why, there’s nothing in that picture but a couple of cows and a pasture,” said the war millionaire. “True, but it’s a work of art.”” “Umph! I could buy the land and the cattle for $10,000."—Birmingham Age- Herald. Kept Guessing—" This fad for old clothes has got me guessing.” “How's that, doc?” “T let a millionaire get away with two dollars yesterday. I never know what to charge a man.”—Louisville Courier- Journal. Matter of Geography—A Minne sota man who had been introduced to a fellow citizen by his Congressman asked the latter with reference to his new ac- quaintance: “Ts he rich?” “Well,” replied the Congressman, “that depends on geography. Out here we consider him very rich; he’s worth about a million dollars. If he lived in New Jersey, I suppose he would be considered fairly well to do; while if he lived in New York folks would be dropping dollars in his hat.”—Boston Transcript. Cool—Prisoner—Can you lend me twenty-five dollars, sir? Prosecuting Witness—Why, you thiev- ing scoundrel! You stole seventy-five dollars from me yesterday. Prisoner—\ know it, but I needed a hundred. —Boston Transcript. Clear Conscience—“How did he make all his money?” obody seems to know. But he made it honestly, didn’t he?" “T presume so. He doesn’t give any of it to the church.” —Birmingham Age Herald. Easy Finance—The Federal Reserve Board, in its bulletin for September, states that conditions in public and pri- vate finance are beginning to give un- mistakable evidence of a return to normal conditions. —Wall Street Journal. Secrets in Safe Keeping Mrs. Chick—Is 11 TRUE, HONEY, THAT MY OLD HOUSEMAID IS WORKING FOR YOU? Mrs. Duck—Y €8, BUT DON'T LOOK SO WoR- RIED, DEARIE, | DON'T BELIEVE A WORD SHE says.—Le Journal (Paris). as CQURTI Getting Close To It—“Has that young man proposed to vou yet “No, mother, but I think he’s going to. He spent most all of last evening won dering if rents are likely to come down soon.” —Detroit Free Press. Research Suggested —“‘Is_ kissing really dangerous?” asked the girl “Well, I don’t know that the question has ever been settled,” answered the young man. “Why not take up a little scientific research along those lines?” — Louisville Courier-Journal. Faint Heart—Doris—I thought you were going to kiss me when you puckered up your lips just now, Jack—No—cr—it was only a piece of grit in my mouth. Doris—Then, for goodness sake, swal- low it—you need some!—Edinburgh Scots man A Good Reason—“ You refused him?’ “He didn’t impress me as an that I could get up in the morning and cook breakfast for.”—Louisville Courier Journal. The Girl Won—Was your friend much hurt?” “Not exactly. He escaped with an engagement!"—Jugend (Munich.) Got His—“ Was that fellow who was engaged to two girls properly punished?” fe was. One of them sued him for breach of promise and the other one married him.”—Louisville — Courier- Journal.