Judge — December 11, 1920 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Chip of the Old Block ther—1 swovtp say Nor! St rar! I sHouLp worry —tr's GOT MIS MOTHER Near Truth—" You are late for din ner, as usual,” said Mrs. Twobble, crossly “I believe I am, my dear,” answered Mr. Twobble, apologetically. I dare say you've been standing in front of at ball bulletin board.” “No, indeed.” “Ah! IT thought you would try to deceive me. Mrs. Wapples told me she saw you there. ‘I wasn’t in front of the bulletin hoard. The crowd was so large I could not get in front of it. Iwas away around on one side.""—Birmingham Age-Herald. Of Course!—* Don’t you think that a woman is entitled to a man’s wages?” demanded the Equal Rights Propa gandist “Well,” replied the Professor, “that would depend entirely on whether or not n is married to the man.”"— i Enquirer. Father's Advice—“ Well,” eried Mrs Henpeck, “our son is engaged to be mar ried. We will write to the dear lad and congratulate him Mr. Henpeck agreed (he dared not do otherwise), and his wife picked up the pen “My darling boy.” read the son; “what glorious news! Your father and I joice in your happiness. It has long WEAR ME, VICTORINE I WANT THAT BOY TO LEARN TO BOX SOME ONE WERE TO BREAK MIS NosE—THE S NOSE, THEY SAY Le Rire (Paris). been our greatest wish that you should marry some good woman. A good woman is Heaven's most precious gift to man. She brings out all the best in him and helps him to suppress all that is evil.” Then there was a postscript in a dif- ferent handwriting “Your mother has gone for a stamp: Keep single, you young noodle.”—Tit- Bits Not on the Menu Here's your pitt, six. Do you wisi ANYTHING ELSE?” Cun Yes. some ONE TO pay 1t.—Numero 1 BRING O (Turin), Not Quite Perfect—Little Uriah Umson said to his mother “TL don’t think our teacher knows everything, after all. “Indeed? No, Pdon’t. The other day I saw her looking at a dictionary.””— Youngster Telegram: Ray’s Conclusion — Reproved the other day for disobedience, little Ray was silent’ for a moment and then said: “Mother, how much did you pay the doctor for bringing m “Quite cnough,” his mother replied. Oh, well,” said Ray, “I gues didn’t get stung.”—Boston Transcript. s you Not Safe Any More—Harry home about 5 o'clock and his face and hands were very clean and his hair stood on end. His mother took one look and exclaimed: “Harry, [ told you not to go swimmin’ with Bob Ross.” “How do you know that I have been swimmin’?” ‘asked Harry. “Never mind who told me, but I know that you have been swimmin’,” replied his mother. Miter a while Harry said: “VIL just bet you anything that Mrs. Ross was over here this afternoon, and you and Mrs. Ross had that ouija board out.”— Indianapolis N s A Touch of Comedy—" At the tender age of nine I enjoyed a performance of ‘Faust,’” said Mr. Glipping. That sounds to me like boasting,” said Mr. Gadspur. “T don’t want you to think I was such a precocious youngster. Mephisto got stuck ina trapdoor and couldn’t get down to Hades."—Birmingham Age- Herald. Experience Tells —Sunday school had just begun when the teacher turned to nine-year-old Edward and asked him why he had been absent from Sunday school last Sunday. His answer came promptly and clearly: “Pop and me went black berrying last Sunday.” Teacher was nonplused. “Why, Ed ward,” she exclaimed.“ Don’t you have any idea what will happen to little boys who pick blackberries on Sundays?” “Yes, ma‘am.” his answer was again prompt. “They'll get chiggers on them.” Indianapolis N