Judge — November 13, 1920 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Faithful Unto Depth Strictly Business—“ Did that pretty book agent sell you a set of books?” “She did,” said Mr. Gadspur. “I couldn’t resist her smile.” “You are too easy. “T realize that now. It lasted only until I signed my name on the dotted line.” —Birmingham Age-Herald. Stringing” a Book Agent—When Vice-President Marshall a struggling lawyer in Indiana, a book agent entered his office one morning and undertook to sell him a new edition of the Bible. Mar- shall interrupted to ask who the author was, “W-h-y, this is the Bible,” explained the agent. “Tam fully aware of that,” answered Marshall. “But I ask you who is the author?” The agent again explained he was offering the Bible. “T know,” said Marshall, “but who's the author? Gathering up his samples, the book agent retreated to the door, then with one hand on the knob, turned around and shouted, “You pinheaded fool and blith- ering idiot, it’s the Bible.”"—Capper's Weekly LLIAM, EVERY Time 1 Come Howe | rinp you xs t—EXxcuse ae, MADAM, BUT LT NEVER COULD BEAR TO SIT AROUND DOING NOTHING! —Le Whar po you anest Yet—Sales Manager—Well, , how did that last prospect turn out? Vacuum Cleaner Canvasser—The origi- nal Mrs. Gaspard, the well-known miser’s worst half! That dame let me demon- strate the machine till I made her best rug look like new and then all I got was a demand for a quarter of a dollar to pay for electricity she estimated I'd used. lo Express. A Slap at the Newspapers “Here you are ix Barcetoxa AND you Ake GOING TO Maprip? Wny?” Cause for Doubt—A ngelina—I don't believe you were sincere when you said you'd die for me. Edwin—Indeed I was, dearest. Angelina—Then why don’t you let me drive the car when you take me out motoring?—Boston Globe. Not Hardened Yet terribly unstrung.”” “He ran over a man the other day.” “How long has he owned a car?” “About two weeks. The poor fellow still looks at an automobile accident from the pedestrian’s point of view.” Birmingham Age- Herald. Speed Mania— Mrs. Newrich (return ed from town)—We went very swiftly all the way Caller—But traveling in a fast auto. how could you get any idea of the coun try? Mrs. Newrich—Oh, 1 bought a lot of picture postcards every place we stopped at.—Boston Transcript. Is Life Such a Problem?—* My dear?” said Mrs. Perci 1 Pinochle. “Yes, lovely,” said Pere. “Shall we drive over and get five gallons of gasoline, or will you walk to town and buy a four-pound roast?” Rickmond Times-Dispatch. Most Unusual—“ Anything unusual about this second-hand car?” Yes, indeed. It’s the only sec- ond-hand car I know of that wasn't especially made for the — general manager of the company which builds these motors.""—Detroit Free Press. Viewing with Alarm—* Bu automobile the installment plan is a terrible strain,” remarked the impecu- nious citizen. “It certainly is. How many ments have you paid on your car The first one is due tomorrow.’ -Birmingham Age-Herald. install No Friend of His'n—“ Want to swap ry?” I once traded horses “Well what uv it?” “I'm through tradin’ with the en- emy!"—Buffalo Express.