Judge — November 13, 1920 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

q Keeping the Home Fires Burning Not Amusing—“What makes you look so worried?” “The amusement tax!”— Kladdera datsch (Berlin), Safety First—“ What's going on here, movie thriller?” “Nope,” replied the phlegmatic citizen “A cduple of motor car bandits are rob bin’ a bank.” “Good heavens, man! Why don’t you give the alarm?” “T've got a balance of only two dollars in that bank an’ I ain’t goin’ to run the So, _ Fisk of gettin’ shot for the price of a light . lunch.” —Birmingham Age- Herald. WHat vo You KNOW ABOUT THAT? OUK COOK 1s DECIDEDLY TEMPERAMENTAL TO KEEP HER FROM LEAVING, T PAY FOR HER SINGING-LESSONS.-- Le Rire (Paris) Up to Date— Rough Customer—1 want The Mystery—“The fool and his me picture took. money are soon parted,” observed the Phowographer—Certainly. sir. Would — Old Fogy. you like a carte or a cabinet? “That is to be expected,” replied the Rough Customer—Cart or cab in it? Grouch. “The mystery is how they ever Nayther. Oi'll have an auttymobileinit happened to get together in the first or nawthin’.— Boston Transcript. place.” —Cincinnati Enquirer The Wise Woman—“ Biddy,” re marked the newly wed Irishman, “go down and feed the pigs. “Faith and I will not,” replicd the bride. “Don’t be after contradicting me. Biddy,” retorted the husband. “ Haven't I just endowed you with all my worldly goods, and if you can not feed your own property, then it’s ashamed of you I am.” ‘This was a new point of y Biddy went Presently she returned “Have you fed the pigs, Biddy?” de- manded her husband, sternly “Faith, and L have not,” she an swered. “I have done a great deal bet ter. As they were my own property I have sold them, so they'll trouble me no more!""—London Telegraph. Not a Successful Ape , so off Going Up—Pete Horback claims that the oldest joke is the one about the Irishman who was handling dynarrite ina quarry. He let a stick drop, and the whole box went up, taking Mike with it. The quarry boss came around later and 1 said to another Irishms “Where's Mike?” “He's gone,” replied Pat. “When will he be back?” asked the boss. “Well,” replied Pat, “if he comes back as fast as he went, he'll be back yester- day." —Cincinnati Enquirer “Come vows, Varzan! [ve sporren yel"—The Parsing Show (London). 19