Judge — November 6, 1920 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

j SS SS Madame is Served! —I MUST ASK YOUR PARDON FOR MY TARDY ARRIVAL, BUT IT WAS NECESSARY FOR ME TO WAIT UNTIL THE SURGEON HAD FINISHED OPERATING ON MY Wire.—Le Rire (Paris). How ‘Bout Forty Drinks?—The young Englishman had gotten into the habit of looking into the cup when it was yellow, and the result of too many Scotch whiskies was a deranged digestion. Wor- ried about it, he consulted a doctor. Stop drinking!” ordered the medical man curtly. “But, doctor,” protested the patient, “T can’t, I get so thirsty. “Then,” replied the doctor, “when- ever you feel thirsty, eat an apple insiead of drinking whisky.” The young man paid his fee and de- parted. Later on he was talking to a friend about it and wound up with the comment “Bally rot, I call it! Fancy eating forty apples a day!"— Houston Post Helped Some—“ Bones is your doctor. isn’t he?” asked the village tailor of his neighbor, “He is,” replied the man next docr. who was a shoe-dealer “Do you think he ever helped you?” “Oh, yes, [think he has, He tells all his patients to walk more.”— Yonkers States- man. The Only Place—She (reading)— And the illustrious doctor, according to his own wish, is to be buried among his own patients, there being no other place in the cemetery.—Don Quixote (Rio de Janeiro). 16 Varied Uses—* Water,” remarked the prohibition statesman, “is one of nature's most wonderful gifts. When you get tired of drinking it or talking about it, you can go fishing in it.’—IWashington Star. The Psalm of a Toper My favorite author's a’doctor, He lives there just over the way, Though he can’t write descriptions He turns out prescriptions, He writes me one ev'ry tenth day! His language and words are so pretty Though much disconnected, I'll say. Spir. Frumenti’s the name of the ditty For which my two dollars I pay. My favorite author’s a doctor, I'm going to sec him today, As he'll sit there and write I will shake with delight, My doctor's an author! Hooray! Journal of the American Medical Association. A Taste of Liberty—“I sce where hard cider has won a great victory,” remarked Mr. Bibbles. “How's that?” * According to a new ruling, a farmer can squeeze the juice out of his and let nature take her course.”” *Fine!” “Yes, and if he doesn’t co-ope: nature by using a little sugar, he safe from prosecution as if he lived in a free country.” —Birmingham Age-Her: just as Dust to Dust Ne? © PROFESSORS PARNING SOME EXTRA com.” “AND WHO IS THAT FELLOW IN THE FUR WAT'S THE DUSTMAN—HE EMPLOYS. tHe.” —Karikaturen (Christiania).