Judge — October 23, 1920 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Can I Leave Her at Home? 5 pe By Rup Ressie ] DON’T know whether I want to marry Bernice | She is a big, strong girl. She can move | small pianos. She is a willing worker and a swell cook. She can sing for hours without tatigue and on a clear day her voice can be heard for sev b eral miles. So far as our material welfare is con |) cerned, I fear nothing. Bernice is a capable woman. Me and my ukulele, and Bernice and her voice could pick up a few dollars on Sundays in the back yards. That’s all right. In a large house in the country, [am sure she could make a | competent wife. But I don’t care for the country = Neither does Bernice. She likes the city. I am fond of her, but she has such funny ideas. When I say funny ideas I don’t mean she be- lieves in hoodooism, or taking a cold bath every morning, or anything of that sort. She doesn’t smoke. or chew, or bother a man with yarns about how she and a few of the girls had some of the real stuff night before last, or play the ouija board She is a modest dresser and has a good, kind face But she certainly has some funny ideas. She won't ride in the subway because she can’t see where she’s going. She won't ride on the ele vated for fear the beams will break or the motor man will forget the turns, and when she lands on the street below with the rest of the wreckage, no one will be able to distinguish her from a puddle | of water. She won't ride in automobiles because they can make more than fifty miles an hour, and assurance that they won't. She n't trust. them, and, anyhow, she doesn’t poor. ow how to open the door to get out a she has n w kn Boxenvie Ix . , . Warren, BRING She rode in a’bus once. On that occasion she N wer shoved her dime right through the conductor's dime-sucker a broke it. He put her off. She doesn’t like (G} urves the way they collect fares on’ buses. Not only that, but th vehicles themselves look top-heavy. She won’t*ride on surface cars because she never can re H's mouth, a perfect Cupid’s bow member what side of the street they stop at and she’s not: going Arched just beneath her li to make a fool of herseif by running after them. Where pouts and laughter come and go As she says: “I'm not taking any chances.” But Task yo Exhales the perfur what am I goi K By S. S. Stixsox le nose to do with a girl like that? Her mouth, a perfect Cupid's bow Showing Ma Fills me with dreams of maddening bliss, Why did you call your mother when I kissed you?” A symphony of curves that show “Mother said you hadn't the nerve.” The promise of an unborn kiss. Her mouth, a perfect Cupid's bow Is noc her only curve—I view Her in her bathing suit and k She's equally bow-legged When Knowledge Is Bliss Fight Promoter (angrily)—Go on and fight. I thought you told me you didn’t know when you were licked Sumbo (declining to rise)—Ah said it. But that bac right arm is a regular old tree of knowledge The Mind Reader Humpty (feigning illness) —Can you direct me to a doctor? Ne OF THOSE OLIJA BOARDS THAT ARE Dumpiy—There’s none around here, but I think 1 have a " little hooch on my hip i Drawn by Curros Mees Gosu! Tuts sust Be MAKING PEOPLE SO NERV comicbooks.com