Judge — October 23, 1920 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Cassandra Speaks | Ry Kesseru Axpenws HERE will be campaign buttons. There will be volunteer cam- paigners in clubs, hotel lobbies, smoking-cars and at dinner parties. People will write countless letters to the papers settling the whole matter daily. Windows of homes will be disfigured by j lithographs Parodies of popular songs extolling the if virtues of the candidates will be written— Pictures of very old men who have al- ways voted the Republican (or Demo- cratic) ticket will be published. Each one will be described as “the oldest living Republican (or Democratic) voter.” Messages will be received from spirits in the other world stating that Cox (or Harding) will win Shortly before election day the fortufe MIND, teller who predicted the San Francisco fire, the Titanic disaster and the end of the war will foretell the outcome of the election. She will be dead wrong Certain more or less ambiguous phrases uttered by the candi dates will always be used in quotation marks by the papers. These phrases will be known as slogans. On Sundays there will be pictures of old Cal Coolidge holding a pitchfork in his Jeft hand and stroking the forehead of a calf with his right. Old Jim Cox will be shown spraying the tomato plants on the old farm I covtp waite “Yurs, sere 4 of | y i} fe RUT Drown by RB. Feuuen » *Ye're a rive one, NeLuie, To LAUGH ALL TH? Way THROUGH THAT Movie! Ir WAsN’r A CoMEDY—IT WAS A TRAGEDY!” Drown by Ganoven 0. Re. “Y" KNow, I pox’T see wity THEY MAKE SUCH A S OVER THAT CHAP SCRIBRLER, s sturr ir I Map THE MIND Te wee etc. Usxpousrepty THe ONLY THING LACKING 18 THE Some one will bet a huge sum of money on Harding (or Cox There will be—at the time of writing the ld-be gambler will get his pict at odds of 10 to 1 story—no takers. But the in the papers \ story of Warren Harding's very carly days will be widely circulated. It will tend to prove that Warren was, even as a boy. as honest as the day is long, and a born leader The man who said he would let his whiskers grow until Bryan was elected President will bob up again It will be stated that women will decide the issue and that practically all the women voters will vote as their husbands Statisticians will periodically analyze the campaign's progress and demonstrate in the Republican press why Harding will sweep the country, and in the Democratic press why Cox can re not lose. In the small towns bitter and caustic feuds will be revived be- tween the papers of opposing political faiths. Toward the end controversies will become personal and the editors will refer to cach other as “unprincipled miscreants” and “beetle-pated hoddy-doddies.” Each of us, sooner or later, will be drawn into furio gue ments, It will rain on the day the successful candidate is inaugurated In spite of these warnings the American people will go straight ahead and let themselves in for these woes Take Her, My Bo: “She’s worth her weight in gold,” ‘The suitor cried, with accents Nlow'ry. “If that be true,”” her father said, “Her weight shall be her dowry!” The Optimism of Youth she All "bout de awful wreck! ady—I want a paper. hoy—Sure, lady, maybe one of your friends was killed Cause for Thanksgiving “The Lord was certainly good to us hired men,” said one of Farmer Fumblegate’s servitors. “ Making us so’s we could work?” asked his associate in sloth. ‘Nope! Making us so’s we could set down.” comicbooks.com