Judge — October 16, 1920 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

All Puffing, too—“I want to tell a story I heard the other day in a sm ing-car.”” “Don’t tell it here. present.”” “Umph! the smoking-car.” Herald. There are ladies There were ladies present in Birmingham — Age Hired Mrs.Gazip pe—I'm rather hard Have you had much expe rience as a maid? The Applicant—1 worked for the Scrapleigh Stiles for six months before they separated Mrs. Gazippe—I'll engage you tell me all about it.—Boston Globe. Now Ocean Was at Low Tide—Miss Peggy O'Neil, the American actress, now winning popularity in London, tells an amusing story of a New York girl who appeared at a fancy dress ball there costume which consisted of but little else than gauze, which was of a sea-green color and spangled with silver to represent the foam of the in a waves. It was (says Miss O'Neil) trimmed with various kinds of seaweed, and what there was of the dress. was cut exceedingly low Meeting a man friend in the inter- vals of dancing, she asked how he liked her dress. “Very much,” he replied, what is it intended to represent?” “Why, the ocean of course!” exclaimed the wearer pettishly At low tide, I presume,” rejoinder—Boston Post. “but was the Quoth the German Profiteer First Plutocrat—Wewt, rox My part, | xickep tHe EXTENTE IN THE STOMACH—BUT You SEE IT DID NO Coop. Second Plutocrat—No, AND STILL MoRE WoRk.—Wahre Jakob (St THERE REMAINS BUT ONE REMEDY FOR OUR POOR PLOPLE—WORK Banking on His Necessity Towrit—V'p une ON THE FIFTH FLOOR Bank Clerk—Sorry, We MAVE ONLY ON1 SAFE-DEPOSIT BOX LEFT, THIRTY BY FORTY MILIMETERS, IN THE siconp ceLtar.—L. TO HAVE MY OLD ROOM Old Stuff—On a certain occasion Prof Brander Matthews, of Columbia Univer sity, speaking jokingly of hi: said he trusted that he was not so old that the students could play on him the trick he once saw tried on a senior professor in his own college days. “Professor Blank,” he said, “was our most venerable instructor, and he could be just a trifle irritable at times. Once, noticing that a member of his class who sat right under his eye never took any notes or paid the slightest attention to his lectures, he stopped abruptly and de manded: ““See here, young man, what do you mean by coming into my classroom day after and never taking notes?’ ““T have my father’s,’ was the stu- dent’s complacent reply.” —Youth's Companion. Disqualified—“ You call yourself a press agent!”’ exclaimed the indignant movie “vamp. “Er man. “Why, I’ve spent years building up a screen reputation as a heartless adven- turess and you write stories for the news- papers saying my home life is ideal!”"— Birmingham Age- Herald. yes,” said her new publicity comicbooks.com