Judge — October 16, 1920 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

{ Sauce for the Goose—The tram was crowded to excess, and the passengers were wriggling and grumbling. A regu lar rustic was amongst them. He took out, filled and lighted a huge pipe. The odor of the smoke soon caused an appeal to the conductor, who said to the villager: me, you can read, I pre sume “Yes.” “Well, what is written on that notice. card there?” indicating, as he spoke, the Smoking is strictly forbidden. The countryman smiled and asked in his turn, “And you can read, of course?” “Certainly. “Well, what is written there?” ghicen seats,” answered the con ductor ingenuously. “And here are thirty-five of us the law is the same for all, when observe your regulation I will observe min And for some time the countryman en- wed the reck of his pipe. —London graph A Leech—A man on the south side advertised his car for sale. Early the next morning a man who lived across the street came over and said: “Pardon me, but [see by last night’s paper you ad- vertised your car for sale.” Quite true,” said the man who ad vertised the car, “but surely you are not in the market for it. “No,” was the reply, “but I only live across the street and I also want to sell my car, And there would be no need of my spending my money for an advertise ment if after the people were through looking at your car you could just send them across the strect to look at my car.” —Indiana polis News. A Home Demonstration what's meant by a ‘poker face’? sen, your mother doesn’t know anything about the game of poker.” “Yes, pa?” “But when I deliver a little lecture on extravagance she exhibits as fine a ‘poker face’ as I ever saw.” —Birming. ham Age- Herald. Superior Assumption under- stand you have told your wife to throw the ouija board into the wood- box.” “Ves. I’m not going to have any such superstitious nonsense deciding questions around my house. When I come to a point where I can’t make up my mind what to do, I simply flip a coin.”— Washington Jokn (reading)—"No. 46, ‘Circe.’ ‘THAT WAS THE WOMAN WHO TURNED MEN INTO Pics. Mis Better-half—On, Joux! How very interestixc. Ab WilO TURNED THEA pack?—London Mail. st of the World’s Humor Different Times— My father used to know what ailed me when I was unruly, and he effected many cures with a trunk strap.” “Well?” “But I got to take my kid to a psychologist." —Louisville Courier-Jour- nal. Of Course—Visitor—And are you the little girl who was born in India? ittle Ethel Yes Visitor—Oh, what part? Liule Ethel—Why, all of me!—Duilas News. Rather Fair—“ What sked Miss. Jones of one of her pupils. “do we mean by the word plural?” Marie, knowing the teacher's custom of following a definite order in putting her questions to the class, had been expecting this particular one for some time and was rather proud of the answer she had ready, She promptly responded “By the plural of a word we mean the same thing, only more of it.""— Harper's Magazine Liked Her Mother Six-year-old Margaret often played with Nellie, a neighbor's little girl. One rainy day the two were just starting across the clean kitchen f Margaret’s home when the latter's mother, seeing their muddy shoes, headed them off and sent them out to play on the porch, After a moment Nellie remarked “My mother don’t care how much | run over the kitchen floor.” There was quite a long interval of silence. Then Margaret said: “L wish [ had a nice, dirty mother like you've got, Nellie.” —Guleston News.