Judge — October 9, 1920 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

No Demand— You can sell anything, if you know how to talk to people,” remarked the expert salesman. “Asa rule you can,” said Mr. Glip. ping, “but I wouldn't advise you to in a stock of enlarged portraits of William IL."—Birmingham — Age- Herald. Meanest Yet—Suales Manager—Well, Jobbie, how did that last prospect turn out? Vacuum Cleaner Canvasser—The orig- inal Mrs. Gaspard, the well-known miser’s worst half! That dame let me demonstrate the machine till I made her best rug look like new and then all I got was a demand for a quarter of a dollar to pay for the electricity she estimated I'd used.—Buffalo Ex- press. A Self-Starter—“ Are you an expert salesman?” asked the manager. “Can sell anything from an ice pick to an automobile. For instance, that car of yours outside—” “Yes, yes.” “Well, [sold it toa guy who was pass- ing.""—Boston Transcript. Not his Job—Fortunate is the man who can perceive at once that for which he is best fitted. A motor car man was relating the other day his good luck in finding out how much better he was as an office man than a salesman. “A fellow came in one day,” he said, “and asked me to show him one of our big cars. I said I would call a salesnan, but he said no, he wanted me to do the showing. So I ran the car out, and we started down Grand Avenue. We hit a bump at the foot of the viaduct, and he said, ‘the Marmillackard doesn’t bump like that,’ and I said maybe it doesn’t. And we went on and started up one of those hills in Penn Valley and it was a pretty hard pull, and he said ‘the Marmillack- ard goes right up this hill like nothing,” and I said, ‘well, well.’ So then we drove back around by the Marmillackard place and stopped and I said, ‘Here, you big fat cootie, here’s where they sell Mar- millackards. Now go in there and buy one.’ And he did, and that’s why I always figured I was better off in the office letting the salesmen do the selling.” — Kansas City Star. The Victim—Covrny’t you co Smart Woman—“Henry, an agent called this afternoon with a patented can-opener.”” “And I suppose you bought it?” but since we were going to have som ned fruit for dessert tonight, 1 let him demonstrate it Birmingham Age- Herald. Getting Him Interested—‘I think I'll try to sell Flivver an encyclopedia.” o chance. He knows it all.”” “That means a good chance. He can go through it looking for errors.” —Louis- ville Courier Journal. A Military Non-Essential Lieutenant—Private 180, 18 YOUR NAME JOUANSON OR JouNson? Recruit—WHat DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE, Lieutenant?—Kasper (Stockholm). 19 and Aft Children Not Wanted—Mrs. Gotham —Are you going to take the children out today, Henry? Mr. Gotham—No, dear. going hunti. “Well, can’t you take them hunting with you?” I’m afraid.” Afraid of what?” “ Afraid I won't get what I’m going af- ter if I take them. I’m going flat hunt ing.” —Y onkers Statesman, I'm not, I’m Hopeless—“I don’t ever expect to see ite “What?” “The day when clerks in railroad ticket offices will take any genuine interest in their customers.’’—Detroit Free Press. Worth Watching—“I dunno whether that feller is engaged in some shady occu- pation or not, But—” “Well?” “There’s something mighty suspicious about the way he minds his own busi- ness.” —Louisville Courier-Journal. Hard Work These Days—Veasi— What’s the matter with your eyes? Crimsonbeak—Eye strain. “Oh, been working with them too hard, have you?” “Yes, been looking for a house.”— Yonkers Statesman. comicbooks.com