Judge — October 9, 1920 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Limit—* And now, gentlemen,” piped the orator, “I just wish to tax your memory.” “Good heavens!” exclaimed one of the audience, “has it come to that?” —Lon don Tit-Bits. Ouch!—“ Why don’t you Strike Easy- coin for a loan?” suggested Slopay “1 did.” sighed Hardup. “But he ld me that I had struck him centsless.”” Cincinnati Enquirer Small Pay for a Microbe—One of the tellers in a Columbus bank says he has a customer, a teacher, who is the wittiest thing vet. “We make it a practice to give out new bills whenever we are able to send the old ones back to the Govern- ment,” said the teller, “and once when this customer appeared I apologized that I was unable to give her new bills, and asked her if she had any fear of microbes. “T don’t really think there are any on this money,” said the teacher; “no microbe would attempt to live on my salary." —Columbus Dispatch. Two and Three—“ Funny how our money has depreciated,” said the Fat Man on the back platform of the car. “That's right,” agreed the Thin Man. “4 dollar ain't worth more’n forty cents right now.” “Yes, and our nickels are worthless,” added the Fat Man, They are made out of junk. I understand the Govern- ment is letting them go for two and three cents apiece.” “I'd like to get some at two and three cents apiece,” ventured the Thin M I'll let you have all you want at that price,” said the Fat Man. But the Fat Man started to grin while the Thin Man was fishing in his pocket for change, and the Thin Man saw the Joke.—Cincinnati Enquirer. Father's Idea—Bridegroom—The bills for your trousseau? Why, I thought your father paid these. Bride—It is customary, dear. But papa thought you would rather do it than give him the humiliation of borrow- ing the money from you.—Boston Trans- cript. Battle-Field Picnickers “You MUST ADMIT THAT IF THE BOCHES MAD NOT DEMOLISHED THE VILLAGE WITH THEIR 420 GUNS WE WOULD Nor NOW BE ENJOYING THE PLEASURE OF LUNCHING HERE,” —Le Rire (Par Where Deposited—* \h, Mr. Ketten- er, your heart is with your treasure!” On the contrary. Asa good Austrian my heart is with the Homeland, but my treasure is in Switzerland!’ —Wiener Caricaturen (Vienna) The Bill—“What room did you have?” “T slept on the billiard table. Billiard table, ten hours at two shillings an hour—£1.""—Fliegende Blaet- ter (Munich Strategy—"Are you having any trouble keeping your hired man satisfied with D2 “No.” replied Mr. Cobbles. “I worked on his superstition.” “ How so?” cl teller $5 to tell him seven-dollars-a- jobs in town would soon be as scarce as hen’s teeth.”"—Bir- mingham Age- Herald. A Brave Man—Mrs. Bacon—Whiat is your husband ranting about in the kitchen? Mrs. Eghert — He's expressing his opinion of the cook “Dear me! I should think he'd be afraid Jo speak to her that way!” “Why should he be afraid? You know she left yesterday!”"—Vonkers States- man, Chose Wisely—" The Smiths used to have a splendid cook.” “Yes, but she and Mrs. Smith could not get along.” “Dear me! So I suppose Smith had to discharge her?” “Oh, no; he divorced his wife.” Detroit Gateway. The Man—I wr.ieve We MET OX THIS VERY SPOT LAST YEAR The Maid—I weireve we pip. | REMEMBER YOUR FACE WELL, BUTT PORGLT WHAT FATHER catien vou.—Weekly Telegraph (London). 7 comicbooks.com