Judge — October 9, 1920 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

'y Aeronaut—On, Loox! An Ozark Mercury—It was no fault f ours that the Lead Hill items did not appear last week. George Kirkwood carried them around in his pocket a day too late. —Boone Headlight Not Worth His Job—* Daddy piped the little darling, “is the sea a mile deep?” Daddy who was also an editor, glanced up irritably from a huge pile of manu script. “I don’t know!” he snapped The little darling looked disappointed \ little later he asked: “Is the moon really made of cheese daddy?” Agail know!" Another look of disappointment, an- other silence, and another question: “Do cannibals use postage stamps?” No less savage than the cannibals themselves was the distracted manu- script reader as he roared, for the third “I don’t know!” “Well, I say, daddy,” exclaimed the youthful inquirer, very seriously, “who made you an editor?”—London Tit- Bits. came the response: “I don’t Marvelous, Watson!—“Not all ca- lamity howlers are pessimists.”” No? Further proof is needed.” “Well, consider the newsboys.”"— Buffalo Express. There 1s 4 BAT Tyrikans (Christiania) Bad Luck in His Betting—“ It means “In God we trust,’ replied the office boy confidently in answer to a question over the telephone. “What does?” inquired the city editor, who caught the remark. 2 Pluribus Unum,” answered the boy. “A man said he had a bet up.” “What did he say when you told him that?” “He said he guessed he'd lost the bet.” Kansas City Star Scandalous!—A Virginia editor threat- ened to publish the name of a certain young man who was seen hugging and kissing a girl in the park unless his sub- scription to the paper was paid up in a week. Fifty-nine young men called und paid up the next day, while two even paid a year in advance.—Fourth Estate. Neighbor—I NEVER HEAR YOUR DOG BARK Now. “No. I've RENTED MIS KENNEL TO A manniep courLe.”—Lustige Blactter (Berlin). 16 wife cry when she gets angry? “Yes; it isn’t the heat of her temper that distresses_ me so much as the —Boston Transcript. A Safe Bet—“ Who was it that said it takes two to make a quarrel?” asked Mrs. Gabb. “T don’t know,” growled Mr. bb. “But I'll bet a million dollars he wasn’t a married man. "—Cincinnati Enquirer Bitter Tears—Mr. Myles—L under- stand your wife cried in church last Mr. Styles—Yes, she did. “Was the sermon so affecting?” “It wasn’t that, but a woman she doesn’t like sat right in front of her and she had a hat on exactly like my wife's!” Yonkers S Sorrier T rd.do you know that you are in the habit of snoring? Hub—Am 1? Lam sorry to hear it. Wife (dryly) m 1.—Boston Tran- script. Distinct Drawback—Oscar—Why did you have the telephone taken out of your office? Jim—Do you consider anything a modern improvement which gives your wife a chance to ask for money during business hours, after going through your pockets the night before?— Houston Post. Hard Hit—" What's wrong, old man? You look blue.” “Had a scrap with my wife this morn- ing. “Oh, don’t let a little thing like that worry you. A thunderstorm clears the atmosphere, you know “Yes, but that doesn’t help a man who's been struck by lightning. ""— Boston Transcridt. Creature of Excuses—Mr. Crimson- beak (at breakfast)—How long do you suppose it would take to come from the moon to the earth, dear? Mrs. Crimsonbeak—1 don't know, and, what's more, I don’t care; but if you are going to give that as your ex- cuse for getting home late last night, it won't do.— Yonkers Statesman. comicbooks.com