Judge — October 9, 1920 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Drown by Heawax Patsew Digest of the World’s Humor A Less Labor—Diner (scanning bill of fare)—Rump steak 40 cents and again 50 cents. What's the difference? Waiter—You get a sharper knife with the 50 cent one, sir.—Boston Tran- script. A Matter of Percentage—A sausage manufacturer in Milwaukee built a rep- utation for a certain brand of sausage. He called it rabbit sausage. A sanitary inspector called one day for an analysis “Don't you use some horse ii in this make of sausage?” asked the T use some,” was the reply. “How much?” “Well, I make it a fifty-fifty proposi- tion. One horse, one rabbit." —Chicago Tribune. Eliminating a Dangerous Test— Mrs. Bacon—And have your husband's table manners improved? Mrs. Egbert—Oh, I think so. “And can he manage spaghetti all right now? Yh, well, you sce, when he began to try and improve his table manners we thought it just as well to give up having spaghetti.""— Yonkers Statesman. Restaurant Psychology—“ With eggs So cents a dozen, how is it that you can offer two fried for ten cents?” “ Becai answered the manager, “nearly everybody that comes in brings up that question and then orders some- thing else, just as you will do.” And he did.—Boston Transcript. Noncommittal — Bachelor Friend — Can your wife cook? Young Husband (evasively) — Well, she can make a good family stew.— Baltimore American. Shore-Like Dinner—Bacon—I just had a shore dinner. Egbert—Oh, been shore, down to the sea- “But where did you get the shore din- ner?” “At home.” “Isn't that unusual home?” “Oh, no; you see, there was sand in the sugar, shells in the nut cake, water in the milk, and brine in the pickles. Yonkers Statesman. ‘a shore dinner at In the Hospital—An attendant en- tered carrying a thin red object. “Did any patient order a postage stamp?” “Maybe,” said my mutton chop rare. Journal. one feebly, “that’s "— Kansas City The New Aristocracy “My pear! Let ate coxcratuLate you ON YOUR DEAR GIRL’S ENGAGEMENT; SUCH A Nice youxG Fettow! A MINER, 100." —The Passing Show (London). May See Them There The screen shows bathing girls on the beach, in the taurants and on the street.” en them ‘ywhere ¢: cept in the water.”’—Louisville Courier~ Journal. Misjudged “Yes, pop “How many times have I told you to stop doing that foolish Charlie Chaplin imitation.” “T wasn’t doing it.” “But I just saw you “A piece of chewing-gum was on my shoe and I was trying to scrape it off.”"— Youngstown Telegram, “ Junior—" Making It Realistic—They were discussing embarrassing situations and Charles Murray told how Mack Sennett, the comedy king, once put him in a very awkward fix, all in the cause of realism. “Now in this scene,” said Sennett, “go over there and kiss those bathing girls. Then their escort will punch you and you run.” “But,” protested Murray, “those aren't our bathing girls. Those girls don’t belong to the company.” “T know that,” said Sennett. sequently you'll kiss them much more realistically and their escorts will punch you much more realistically, and we'll get a more realis cl "—Houston Post. “Con- Thrown Out--" My wife and her ma gave me heck for coming in late.” “Did, ch?” “T presented a moving picture of being detained downtown.” “Yep, but it couldn't pass the board of censorship." —Louisville Courier-Journal. comicbooks.com