Judge — September 18, 1920 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Drawn by Noauax Axmoxy Gum Manufacturer—V ts, WE WAD TO come TO IT, Tue PEOPLE WHO WANTED TO BUY GUM COULDN'T GET NEAR THE MACHINE ANYWAY! Hilda. ‘You would be able to do lots of things around the house and that would save us money.” “You would be interested in your home, then? “Why not? A woman sees more of her home than she does of her husband, so why shouldn’t she want a handsome home rather than a handsome husband? What good is a handsome man out of work in a cold house without food?” A wild, unintelligible yell by the sta, tion-agent told them the train was ap- proaching. Clarkson picked up his bags and wandered out on the platform. “My only desire is to be happy.” she said, as she clung closely to his arm. “It’s foolish and unprofitable to be happy,” he replied. ‘‘More persons get imposed on when in that state than at any other time.” “We will be happy, won't we?” she pleaded, yearning for a word of senti- ment. “Well, we'll be satisfied,” he com- mented with the faintest trace of a smile. ; “Do you favor a quiet wedding or a lot of fuss?” Hilda ventured as the crowd surged about them, toward the end of the platform. “We must feed our friends,” said Clarkson, “That will cost us about two hundred dollars, and they will give us about a thousand dollars’ worth of pres- ents, so we'll start housekeeping witha profit.” Their lips bumped in a movement evidently intended for a kiss. As he swung aboard the train Clarkson smiled conservatively. It was not the kind of a smile that usually illumines the face of a lover. Hilda watched the train. Many pas- sengers waved final goodbyes from the windows to friends whom they had just left. But the face of Clarkson was not among them. She watched the train until the ob- servation-car began to fade into the dis- tance. Its shining brass rail looked like a row of teeth. The whole train seemed to be grinning at her. But Hilda merely smiled A week later she received a let- ter from Clarkson. He thanked her for helping to make his vacation interesting and said she no doubt realized there was nothing serious about their engagement. He also hoped that she might profit by the very valuable philosophy which he had tossed off during their many talks. “IT beat you to it by forty- eight hours.” wrote Hilda in reply “Read Friday's Herald, and in ‘Nanette’s’ column you will see our experience fitted in accurately under the heading: “**The Superman Takes His Vacation’ “You must, therefore, set down your 1020 heartbreaking tour as a failure. Wishing you similar success in all future failures, I am “Yours candidly, “Hitpa (alias Nanette).” Playwright By Matcoust LaPrape HE strives not with a lofty play To reach Pamassus’ heights, But writes them, in his humble way, To run three hundred nights. The works of Shakespeare and Moliére His interest ne'er beguile, To read them he would scarcely dare, For fear ’twould cramp his style. No literary taste he vaunts: The one precept he has Is “Give the public what it wants, With ‘snap’ and ‘pep’ and ‘jazz.’” He sits with calm, efficient look Before his desk, and woos With bedroom scene or cop and crook, The coy Dramatic Muse. He knows each small resource that lies Within the trouser seat: The gentle slapstick he applies In manner deft and neat. The carping critics roast his plays Whenever they appear, But Dun and Bradstreet sing his praise Th accents loud and clear. Inferno “Mexico ought to be punished.” “You're right; let’s send the United States Congress down there to rule the country.” (Kein Drawn by Caawroup Youxa Workman (who has been told to come and fix the door-bell)—Wext! I curss tu’atnt NoaubY wome. I'VE RUNG FOUR TIMES. Consider the Popular