Judge — September 11, 1920 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Digest o Highly Interesting—“I f the World’s Hu intend to give my guests a corking good time.” “Alas for the old ¢ times were uncorking ones!” Imerican Concentrated Hooch—One of those never-say-die saloonkeepers, in whose more or less human breast hope eternal a saloonkeeper, in short, who received an offer rapher (a do s« more pleasant springs. still conducts a saloon from an acquaintance of two gallons of genuine 100-proof hooch at $40 the gal lon. The bargain was sealed Now, the strange thing about it is that the whisky was too-proof goods. ‘The sule was genuine encugh. But the two gallons were delivered in cight pint bottles, each bearing a drug- store lable, and cach the name of a licensed physician.—Syracuse Herald. only would soul, old man! Buffalo Express Martyrdom away from him, Tests—The incident cf the Kentucky landlord who certified the sobriety of one of his customers on the ground that the latter still was able to move his fingers, indicates the wide variation of the stan dards by which intoxication is measured In Kansas City, as an instance, a man is considered sober until his money spent.— Philadelphia Public Ledger. Mike—Phwat Its Location are lookin’ for? Mrs. Mike Mike—Thin y where the whisky was. ye “PLEASE Gi Nothing. FOS NEE z iy Fs Tweive I find it in the jug London Sketch. te (Paris) who are leading us and inciting us to worse instead of better things. H*s something good come out of Greenwich Village? Most of the product of that hectic neighborhood has had a decadent flavor, but now we are informed that the femina Greenwichia’s local habit of bobbing her hair is about to be taken up and made general by the world of fashion. Under fashion’s decree lovely woman has practically freed herself from entangling skirts and, if she can rid herself of her time-consum- ing tresses, she will be still better equipped to contend with man in usurping his former domain. It is going to be a bit rough on future lovers, who will have no long locks of hair to wear next Conclusion Jumped At ittle peevishly) nething to induce you to look a little The Glum One (brightening up) [I'll never breathe it Is it Scotch or Rye? The Kansas City who got four years for stealing seventeen barrels of liquor also had the liquor taken This makes his net punishment the equivalent of burning at the stake—Mouston No Piker, This War Profiteer! EME TWELVE TOOTHBRUSHES “Yes; ONE FOR HACH TooTH,” 17 lays when the good Baltimore Uncle's Views—"I hear you'se to be married soon, young man.” “Yes, uncle. By the way, isn’t something of an ordeal?” “You bet it is, I'd rather take almost any lodge degree.""—Cincinnati Enquirer Photog Really, can’t I it If you toa The “Cushy” Job—Friend (to pros perous-looking motorist)—You don’t ap pear to be doing badly, old man. What business are you in? Motorist—Oh! I'm a Bystander (London.) man son-in-law — Heedless Query— Kindly Old Lady— Poor man! And are you married? Weary Tramp—No, lady. I wouldn't be relying on total strangers for sup. port if I ‘ad a wife, lady.—Answers. Post. Her Idea of It — Mr. Bacon I that the Bedouin marriage does not take much time. It is said the bridegroom cuts the throat of a sheep and spills the blood on his father-in-law’s threshold, and it is all over. Mrs. Bacon—No, it’s not, cither. Don’t you forget that somebody's got to the mess, and I suppose, of the poor bride. — Yonkers see La Ba Statesman, their hearts, and upon the coiffeurs and dealers in false hair. What cares woman for these if the sex has really made up its mind to be comfortable rather than beautiful according to old- fashioned ideas? Encouraged by the success of this example Greenwich Village might well go a little further and reform the sex in the matter of headgear in general. Is there, when one stops to think of it with a mind free from habit and custom, anything in all modern civilization so absurd, so ludicrous in fact, as woman's habit of putting on top of her head the numberless and useless combinations of feathers, ribbons, lace, fur and what-not turned out by the milliners to befuddle her brain? to it, Greenwich Village!