Judge — September 4, 1920 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Different Itinerary—A Sunday school teacher, trying to impress her teaching about the future life upon the plastic minds of her youthful. pupils, all those who wanted to go to heaven to stand up. Three-year-old Dora alone remained seated. “Why, Dora!” questioned the teacher, “all good little girls want to go to heaven. Why den’t you?” “No, ma’am, goin’ back to Magazine we ain't goin’, we're Detroit.” — Harper's An Apt Reminder—*“ Come upstairs and let me wash your hands,” said Win- nie’s mother. “I don’t want to go up,” wailed Win- aged three. “Let her wash them down called Grandma, “she can do it well.” “No,” her mother said firmly, “I want her to come up with me.” Winnie came upstairs as slowly as pos- “Oh,” she said, turning a wrath- ¢ to her mothe why your mother?”— Piuts- here,” just sible. fully tearful f don’t you obey burgh Sun He Knew It—George, three years of age, appeared on the Easter program at his Sunday school in Greenwood, singing a solo. As he was leaving the church with his mother, a friend said to him: “George, you did fine.” “T know it,” he replied. His mother, reproving him, “Why, George, you skould not have sai that to the lady.” Whereupon George answered: “Well, mother, I guess I could hear my own voice.” —ZJndianapolis Star said: grand- mother had died in a distant town, and about the same time her little dog was poisoned and died, Betty said to her mother one morning, “Mamma isn’t it strange I cried more for my little dog when it died, than I did when grand- mother died?” “No, that is not strange,” replied her mother; “you were with your little dog y day, and your grandmother living away, you hardly knew her.”” Betty replied: “Yes, and I didn’t raise grandmother from a pup.”—Chicago Tribune. Long Association—Betty’s IMluminating “YOUR PAINTING 18 BEAUTIFUL AND IS WELL LIGHTED.” “| SHOULD SAY IT WAS; INSTEAD OF xerosene.—Le Rire (Paris) Her Wholesale Prayers—Lucile, who is five, does not like to say her prayers at night when she is sle “Did you say your little prayer last night?” her mother asked her one morn. ing at breakfast “No,” said the little girl, “I was too sleepy last night, mamma, but Sunday night, when you put me to bed before I was sleepy, I prayed seven prayers— enough to last me all this week.” —Jndi anapolis News. “[ COULDN'T SLEEP LAST NIGHT BECAUSE OF THAT Losster!” “TL COULDN'T SLEEP BECAUSE oF rounpep cat!” “How LONG MAVE You BEEN HAVING CAT ror surrer?”—Kasper (Stockholm) A CON- PAINTING 17 IN OIL coLors, I PaAIntep it with Advice—There is only one golf les: more important than how to play out of a bunker—viz., How Not to Play Into a Bunker. You need some luck to run down a long putt, But all the luck in the game won't help you if the ball stops short of the hole. In cursing out a slice, a hook or what- ever happens, remember that the golf ball goes exactly where you send it. Advice from a man who never gets un- der 120 is much like getting a hair restorer from a bald-headed barber.—A merican Golfer. Ma Wants a Change—“ Going away this summer?” “Guess not. Pa agree “What's the matter?” “Pa wants to go somewhere where he can play golf, and Ma insists on going to 3 place where golf has never been heard of.” Detroit Free Press. and Ma can’t Credit Withheld. the industrious man, age I thought nothing of wor! teen hours a day.” “Yes,” replied the complacent youth, in those days there were no moving pictures and no golf. What else was there for you to do with your time?”— Washington Star. “*My friend,” said when I was your ig four-