Judge — July 31, 1920 — page 29: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

| | | | Driven by ©. D. Byes ‘THE BEST LAID PLANS OF MICE AND MEN GANG AFT A-GLAE. A Street-Car Flirtation The Disappearance of Duds By Jeaxne Ororiecn Porter By Benjast~ De Casseres SHE was a maiden with hair of gold, SO And eyes of the deepest brown, He was a chap with a dashing air, The best dressed man in tow From dawn till dark and from dark till dawn They had nothing to do but pose, He was an ad for somebody’s suits. And she for somebody's hose. From nods to smiles and from smiles to talk Their little affair progressed, He liked the fit of her tailored skirt, And she liked the cut of his vest; He was justly proud of his shoul- ders broad And she of her ankles trim, So he smiled gaily across at her And she smiled back at him Thus the flirtation went on and on As merril could be, Till each bored the other almost to death— They called it, of course, ennui: But the ending was sudden, the ending was swift And truly a change of scenes. For where he had posed was an ad for soup, Where she'd smiled was anad for beans. My Nemesis By Evcexe Locknart I AM depressed. I have unwit- tingly formed the habit of at- tending the movies regularly and I find that in the film my name’s a social millstone. It prevents me from ever being the dentifri- cial hero. The distraught heroine never throws her arms around my neck. [am never given a close-up in which I can register Joy or Hate. They never give me a fade-out on ight sky-line. Not with my name. Tamas the flicker in the film —an evil necessi Tenter to exit. My express expressionless. In every reel I bow stiffly or hand the heroine cards on a silver salver. It is quite depressing. My father is to blame. His name is Jenkins. HIE rise of the price of clothing to em- pyrean heights may prefigure the return to fig-leaves. It is a certain thing that in that cra there will be fig-leaf profiteers. The results will be disastrous to the bases of modesty. If we have all got to go completely naked at last and the Lord tempers the wind to shorn Drawn by Raven Bax ro: “Now THAT THe cost oF caNpy 18 so mien, Dotrres, | stay FEED YOU ONLY ONE BON-BON AT A TIME.” pans, What guarantee have we that Acolus and the Weather Man will not arrive by secret covenants to put all the tempered winds in storage? Some People Even with a detlated dollar, some people cin’t buy sense. A Shock Absorber Mrs. Spendit—John was furious because I bought those costly sum- mer furs without telling him. “You should be more consider- I never make expensive purchases until I have talked it all over with Henry and he has vetoed the idea.” Crabbing the Act Neighbor—Johnny! Why did you slap your little sister? She told my girl I was only fifteen ghbor—How old are you? Johnny—Thirteen.