Judge — July 3, 1920 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Honi Soit One morning on the esplanade We met. A breeze was blowing. She seemed embarrassed, half afraid Some frillies might be showing. But on the beach that afternoon She sauntered by unshrinking— Her costume nearly made me swoon; ’Twould set La Milo thinking. Next morning near the bathroom door We met. She stammered “Oh!” And scurried off. I knew wherefore— She wore her kim-o-no! That night behind her at the play I sat. The show was fine— She’d bared her back without dismay Down to the Plimsoll line. Ah! Lovely woman can’t be blamed; Her clothes her moods attest. Like Eve she only feels ashamed When she is fully dressed! —Sydney Bulletin. A Rhyme In ancient days, when e’en the brave Crusader Could twang a lute, and play at seren- ader— . When maids were merrier and youths were madder, And every lad possessed a silken ladder. When none demanded learning of a leader And all preferred a fighter to a reader— When hands were dirtier, but blood was redder, And one might lick a lady, if he wed her. Then lived Romance! grant rider ‘To war or wooing was her gay provider; Then ’twas the athlete, rathe than the kidder, That copped the princess, maid or wife or widder! Then every va- Days of the sword, before the first ex- ploder Of powder filled the earth with brimstone odor! Days when men lived on very simple fodder, And patched their coats with rivets and with solder! Those days that:died ere lived the earliest Tudor Were happier, I think, though somewhat ruder; Footing Up His Assets “How are you, old chap?” “Oh, I'm doing pretty well, what with one foot in the grave, and the other in y guy! to have only two feet!” —Flingende™ Blactter (Munich). The ship of state sailed on without a rudder, And living was one long, delicious shudder. But swords grew weaker as the guns grew louder; Dames took to paint, and warriors to powder. Romance began to bathe and to em- broider— And Science conquered her, and then destroyed her! —Cleveland Plain Dealer. Retiring a Landmark—“I regret to note,” said Uncle Bill Bottletop, “that the old oaken bucket is no longer hangin’ in the well.” “What has become of it?” “I dunno for certain. But I am sus- picious that some one has toted it off an’ filled it up with raisins and yeast cakes and things.”—IWashington Star. No Still Required—“How about those booze recipes you had, old man? Tried ’em yet?” “Tried ’em all, and I’ve come to the conclusion that about the only thing that can be home brewed is trouble.”— Boston Transcript. Dry—“What does this picture repre- sent?” “America;” said the futurist, “Why, it looks to me like a desert hav- ing the colic.” “That’s America,” answered the artist, briefly. —Birmingham Age- Herald, A Favored Mortal—“What happens to a man now if he happens to get bit by asnake?” “Well,” replied Uncle Bill Bottletop, “if there happens to be a little liquor around for an emergency, a crowd gathers around and congratulates him.” Washington Star. Throne to the Dogs —N, ebels palter (Zurich). 19 cece (to Danish king)—Yes, these are rotten times for men in our line, comicbooks.com